Love Doctor-A Cheesy Destiel AU
by rainistorm
Summary: Dean Winchester is a normal, hard-working man. But when he breaks a rib, he'll find that Doctor Novak is going to change his boring routine.
1. Chapter 1

Dean groaned in pain, looking around the waiting room impatiently.  
Sam gave him a worried glance, instinctively reaching out a hand before quickly bringing it back to his side.

"I'm fine Sammy, it's just a bruised rib I think. It just kinda hurts to move my torso. Or, y'know, breathe."

Sam twiddled his thumbs in impatience, watching Dean, a new worry line appearing on his forehead each time Dean winced until he finally heard a nice nurse's small voice call for a Dean Winchester. Dean wrapped his arm around Sam's neck and wheezed towards the office, irritated having to rely on his little brother. He should be the one taking care of Sam, though he's really relieved Sam isn't injured.

He sat down in the doctor's office (the name on the front said Dr. Novak, Dean wondered if it was some kinda middle-eastern name and groaned to himself) and waited, Sam throwing little glances at him.

"Dude, it's a bruised rib, I'm fine," but even as he said it, he was holding back wincing.  
Sam sighed in irritation, hearing Dean's shallow, pained breath.  
After what felt like an eternity of pain and discomfort, the door finally creaked open, and Dr. Novak walked in.

Dean's breath hitched. This man, holy _hell _this man, was drop dead gorgeous. Dean had been with men before, little one night stands with men, and women of course, that he picked up after his shifts at the Roadhouse. But, wow. Just wow, this guy was frikkin stunning. He had messy raven black hair and long nimble fingers, and this little tiny bit of stubble that oddly made him look more professional.  
But then he looked up from his clip board, and Dean's heart absolutely exploded, pounding hard against his bruised rib, making it hurt like hell to breathe but he didn't care because those _eyes _were staring into his, deep and beautiful and blue and all-knowing.

"Dean Winchester?" he said warmly, smiling brightly at Dean.

Dean stared at him blankly, mouth possibly slightly ajar, though he would completely deny it. Dr. Novak smiled brighter. Was that a blush on his perfect little cheeks? No, couldn't be.

Sam poked Dean on the shoulder, worried, chalking his weirdness up to the pain in his ribs.

"Huh? Oh.. oh! Right, that's me. Doctor... Novak?" As if he had forgotten.  
"Please, call me Castiel. Doctor Novak makes me feel old."

Dean could easily tell that the man could only be around twenty-six. Dean smiled.  
"What a peculiar name; it sounds very familiar," Sam spoke up, Dean too lost analyzing the little dimples that popped up on Castiel's face when he smiled at his brother.

"Oh, yes. My parents were rather religious, naming myself and my extensive amount of siblings after angels. Now, what seems to be the problem today, Mr. Winchester?" he asked, turning his penetrating gaze towards Dean again.

"Um.. my um.. my rib." he stuttered. He was angry that he was being so silly and pulled himself together with a deep breath, wincing immediately. "I was working at Singer's Repair Shop, y'know run by Bobby Singer. He's a family friend, I work there a few days a week, in between working at that bar down the road," He was rambling but Castiel just nodded, smiling as if this was the most interesting thing he had ever heard while Sam looked at his brother as if he were crazy. "Um.. and I was working under a car and a piece fell out from it and landed on my chest. It hit me pretty hard, and I kinda heard this weird cracking noise. Oh, and you can call me Dean."

"Well Mi- Dean," he smiled lightly, "it seems to me that you may have a broken rib or two, or at least cracked."

Dean's eyes widened in horror. No, that can't happen! He would have to take time off of work, and he can't afford that. Not with Sammy starting college. Even though he got plenty of scholarships, he still needs a few thousand dollars each semester, and then there's all the money needed to keep up their apartment.

Cas's eyes grew softer, as if reading Dean's thoughts.

"Don't worry, it's not as severe as you are thinking. I'm sure you could continue working at the bar, if you are willing to put up with some discomfort. Though I would recommend taking some days off. It's very important that healing and not straining yourself is your first priority, though I understand that sometimes working is very important." His eyes crinkle when he smiles, in this odd, old-soul sorta way. And Dean could just eat it up.  
"R-right," Dean says, his ears heating up as he realizes he had spent several moments just staring at Castiel's fingers.

He was being completely silly, he knew nothing about this guy; he was just entertaining a fantasy of the most gorgeous man in the world. Laying on the doctor's table, Castiel's long slender hands running down his body, getting closer to his bulging-

"Should we take some x-rays then?" Cas asked, startling Dean out of his fantasy. He suddenly became very aware that Sam was sitting beside him, catching on quickly to his brother's enamored glances and clearly holding back a snicker.

"Y-yes," Dean managed to choke out, standing up slowly, pain rekindling in his chest, making him wince.

Castiel reached out a hand and put it on his shoulder, his fingers light and soft and kind, and Dean stopped breathing for a second. This was going to be a long day.

-

Several hours of staring, an exchanging of numbers for 'business' reasons, some teasing from Sam and arm punches from Dean, and a few types of medications later, Dean was sitting on the couch of their small two-bedroom apartment, his eyes glazed over slightly, laughing a little too loud at an episode of Doctor Sexy. He couldn't watch it without thinking of his own Doctor Sexy, and he chuckled a little louder.

Sam, thankfully, was out studying at the bar, with a pretty little girl named Jessica, he believed. Good, Sam was 20, he needed to get himself a nice girl. Then again, Dean was 24, and he had never had any real type of relationship. Hell, he had never even told anyone he loved them, besides his mom, dad, and Sammy. Two of those people were gone now, a thought he didn't want to dwell on.

Instead, he thought of a man with long pale fingers and messy dark hair, and bright blue eyes that pierced straight through your soul, and who could blame him if his pants came undone and his hands strayed lower?


	2. Chapter 2

Dean spent the next couple days relaxing in the apartment after giving his shifts at the Roadhouse to Jo. Thankfully, Ellen was very understanding. It was nice, lounging around, eating pie, drinking an occasional beer, but Dean was kinda going crazy.

Needless to say, he was pretty darn relieved when he convinced Sam to allow him to go back to work at the bar, successfully overcoming Sam's bitchface #23.

He was pretty charming at the bar, leading to a nice amount of tips. He was eyeing this one girl as he handing her a fruity little drink, the kind that twenty-one year olds always order-lots of alcohol without the burn-when he noticed her pale blue eyes. They were pretty, but they were too pale, not like Casti-

He quickly stopped himself. That was weird and freaky and the thought just popped out of no where. He walked away slightly dazed, leaving the young flirty girl grumping. He continued on, making sure to keep his head away from the doctor who had secretly been in his dreams since his appointment. Dean figured it was just lust and lack of sex. Whatever, he'd only see him for a couple check-ups and after that, he'd never see the gorgeous man again.

But, just as he was thinking this, a small prickle went up the back up his neck, making him turn around quickly.

Of course. Of fucking course. He had never seen Castiel in this bar before, and he's been helping around this place since he was sixteen, and now here he was, gracefully walking into the bar like he didn't belong here at all, his back straight, long pale fingers swinging at his sides. Dean blew out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, suddenly very aware of the aching in his chest.

Castiel sat down at the bar, folding his long legs, resting his hands on the counter. Dean cautiously walked up to him, stumbling slightly and blushing as he quickly straightened himself. Castiel spotted him and smiled brightly, the kind that made his entire face crinkle up in the most adorable way possible.

"Dean, what a pleasure to see you here. Feeling better, I hope?" his eyes flashed a look, as if this meeting wasn't an accident. Or maybe Dean's mind was just making up the little emotion in his head in fruitless hope that Cas had planned this out.

"Oh! Um.. yeah. I mean, it still aches a little, of course it would, I mean it was just a few days ago, but it feels pretty okay" _oh and I painted the walls with my splooge thinking about you and those long hands and thin wrists, man in my dreams_. "The pills help a lot, though they make me a little loopy." Dean finished, blushing slightly.

"That's expected, they are pretty heavy pain killers. I'm quite happy to see you are recovering quickly, Dean." Another smile. Dean's heart skipped a little.

"So, um.. what can I get you Castiel?"

"Please, call me Cas." _Novak, Castiel, Cas. The man of a thousand names. Very cute nickname though _"I'll just take a coke."

Dean raised his eyebrow, suspicious slightly. "You come to a bar and order a coke? Y'know there's a diner down the road."

"Yeah, well.." he paused, blushing slightly. _Blushing! _"There's better.. atmosphere here." He finished weakly, looking down at his beautiful fingers.

Dean turned away to hide his excited smile. "Yeah, the bar is pretty homey."

"Besides, I had to make sure my patient wasn't killing himself. You don't seem like the type to take an order lying down," he said, then immediately blushed, "As in, I assumed you wouldn't follow my instructions." He looked at his fingers as if they were suddenly the most interesting thing here, and the word slip didn't go unnoticed by Dean.

"Trust me, Sammy wouldn't allow that."

"Your brother seems like a very intelligent kid."

And that's all it took to make Dean bloom, talking fast and happily. "Oh God yeah, he's super crazy smart. He's going to this big fancy law school to become a lawyer, and be important and make something of himself. It's what Dad always wanted for him, and I know Mom would've wanted it for him too." He trails off slightly, a small sad smile on his face.

"If you don't mind my asking, what happened?" Cas asked, moving his hands apart, his eyes sparkling with interest and understanding. Dean hesitated only a second, weirdly trusting Cas.

"Well.. When I was five, my mom, Mary, died in a house fire," Cas's face was slightly horrified for a second before regaining composure, listening intently, "Luckily, my dad John was able to get me and Sammy out. After that, it got pretty bad. Dad started drinking a lot, he would disappear for days, weeks sometimes. I took care of Sammy, getting him to school when the time came and making sure he was okay." He chuckled to himself. "Sometimes, he would wake up late at night and sneak into my bed, and I'd hold him and kiss his forehead, and stroke his hair-dude you've seen his hair and it's crazy, boy needs a haircut-and we'd just lay there until he fell asleep. When I was sixteen, Dad left and never came back. Apparently he got into a car crash. And then that's all that was left of him, my beautiful '67 Chevy Impala out there, and we got a little money from court settlements to live on. We kept to ourselves mostly, living in the house, me working here, getting Sammy to school, making sure they didn't find out we were alone and separate us. Of course Bobby helped. He's always helped. Then we got our apartment when I was around twenty, and we've lived there ever since."

At some point in this story, Cas had rested his hand on Dean's, and Dean was suddenly very aware not for the first time of how soft his skin was.

"That must have been very hard on you Dean, must still be. You are an extraordinary man." His smile was so genuine that Dean nearly cried. It had been hard, sure. But he had done what he had to. He didn't see it as special or extraordinary. It was life.

"Okay, your turn, spill it." Dean demanded, eyeing the doctor.

Castiel smiled and went on to tell his story, only pausing when Dean had to tend to another customer or refill his coke. Cas was born into money, his mother and father being important scholars with a love for religion. It turns out he was only twenty-five, a year older than Dean (and so accomplished, Dean swooned). He had five siblings, _five _(for being so religious, his parents sure loved sex) and Cas was the youngest. A year older than him was Gabriel the candy shop owner, then Anna (his only sister)the pilot, Raphael the lawyer, Lucifer (Dean choked at this, but was reassured that Lucifer was once a dedicated angel of God and his parents weren't weird cult people) who was a chiropractor,and the eldest, Michael, a very important brain surgeon. Cas's parents had always been distant, always travelling, leaving the kids under the strict care of Michael. Lucifer left when Cas was sixteen, sick of all the rules and restrictions. Cas missed him dearly, and Dean frowned when he saw Cas's forehead crease with old memories. He'd grown up very sheltered with Michael and took a while to branch out in college. He was very intelligent however and got his Masters and PhD. _His _car was the beautiful silver Porsche outside (showoff).

"That's about it. I'm afraid my life is rather vanilla and plain." Cas smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. They had moved closer together somehow during his story, Dean leaning over the counter, hand still grazing Cas's. Dean didn't think there was anything plain about Cas or his life.

"I think you're brilliant" Dean whispered without thinking, then blushed deeply, pulling back slightly. "Err.. brilliant to get through all of that school. I'm not really a college guy myself. I'm happy working here at the bar and at Bobby's shop. It's nice, and it's what I'm good at. Sammy has always been different. And I'm so proud of that." He grinned lopsidedly, thinking of all the quirky things unique to his gangly brother Sam.

Cas was smiling again, watching Dean with those crazy deep blue eyes, then glanced down at his watch. "Oh! I fear that I have extended my stay much longer than intended. I must get back to my cat before he tears apart the furniture."

So he's single, Dean noted with a satisfied smirk. _Dean no, he might not even be into men. He's probably just being nice in a friendly way_. But Dean still found himself fantasizing, his mind wandering to many different ideas long after Cas had said his goodbyes and left in a reluctant manner.

What the hell is wrong with him?

That night, Dean makes sure to take home a girl with dark eyes, blonde hair, tan skin, and short, stubby fingers to screw until his chest burns and he no longer thinks about the doctor's soft touch on him.


	3. Chapter 3

The days after their little run-in at the bar seemed to take an eternity. Dean occasionally saw Cas in the bar, and those are the moments he lived for. They'd sit there, Cas drinking his coke, Dean shirking off his responsibilities a tad, and they'd talk. They'd talk about silly things, and serious things, things Cas didn't understand like cars and things Dean didn't understand like medicine. With each word they got closer, stopping when they were a foot away from each other, Dean just able to feel Cas's hot breathe against his lips. It drove him wild.

Still though, they seemed to just be friends. Dean had no idea how they even got that far. One doctor's appointment, and now they're telling each other deep secrets, whispering quietly to each other like teenagers. He wasn't complaining one bit though. Dean didn't tell Sam about them talking and becoming close friends. He wasn't sure if he was embarrassed because he wanted a guy so much or because he was certain that he didn't deserve to be looked at by Cas, let alone have those moments where a hand brushes against a hand, or long thin fingers smoothing a wrinkle on Dean's shoulder casually, almost caringly, Dean liked to think. So he kept it quiet, seeing Cas for a couple hours ever three or four days. His tips were slipping a tiny bit from the girls he usually gives plenty of attention to, but he didn't care. It wasn't drastic. He'd still take a girl home occasionally, when he wanted Cas so bad that he needed to remind himself that it wasn't possible. The girl was always the same in two ways: dark eyes, short fingers.

Finally, after a month of this, it was time for Dean's check up appointment. Sam forced Dean to allow him to come, much to Dean's frustration and worry.

"Sam, it's just a final check up to make sure everything healed correctly. I'm fine!" Dean had argued pointlessly. Sam had bitchface #12 on, the most stubborn of them all.

"Dean, you are my brother, and I'm coming. I don't have any classes today anyways. Now come on, someone has to keep you from drooling all over that Castiel fellow," he teased, earning a sharp punch in the arm.

So that's what led to the shocked look on Sam's face when Cas greeted Dean so warmly, like an old friend.

"Dean, it is so very good to see you. I am fairly certain that this check up is unnecessary, seeing as I have been around to check your progress. You seem fine," he smiled, oblivious to the betrayal that was slowly building up in the younger Winchester.

"Shit..." Dean mumbled, glancing over at Sam apologetically. He tried to say 'It's not what you think' with his eyes, but he doesn't think it worked, seeing as Sam's eyes had gone darker. That's not a good sign. But Sam was still wearing his smile for Cas's sake.

"I just want to run a quick x-ray, see if everything is okay. Oh! I hope this doesn't come across as strange, but the bar is starting to mess up my eyesight, and I remember your deep love for pie," he did a crinkle smile, as Dean was coming to call it. "and a new pie shop just opened a few streets from my house. I thought we could go get some tomorrow. Say around... two? I've never known much about pie, and you could possibly teach me a thing or two."

The thought brightened Dean up for a second and he nodded eagerly. "Dude, that sounds fantastic! I frikkin love pie man." He grinned, then caught a look at Sam again. Sam was fuming.

Cas seemed to finally catch on to the tension radiating from Sam, and he tilted his head to the side in the cutest look of confusion Dean had ever seen, making his breath hitch. "I know you do not prefer pie as much, but you are welcome to come along Sam." How adorable that he thought that was the reason Sam was mad, and was completely willing to include him, but Dean quickly pushed that thought away. He was getting way too girly in his head.

Sam was thin lipped and shook his head from side to side a little too hard, his long hair falling into his face. He pushed it out of the way angrily. Cas's confused gaze fell on Dean and he looked back guiltily. He had to speak up, to let Cas know that the anger Sam felt wasn't Cas's fault.

"Oh, um... I forgot to tell Sam that you were hanging out with me at the bar." he admitted in a small voice before turning to Sam. "It's no big deal Sam, we've just been hanging out a couple hours or so on my shift. He keeps me company while I work." He smiled despite himself, sneaking a glance at Cas, who still looked like a confused puppy.

Sam huffed. "You could've told me dude."

"We are simply conversing, Sam. I do not understand the frustration you feel, though if there's any way I can soothe your anger, please let me know. Would you rather Dean and I do not go out for pie?" Cas was so worried. How very cut- _no Dean no._

Sam's anger deflated, seeing the honesty in Cas's face. "No, no. It's fine. I was just frustrated that I didn't know."

Cas perks up a bit and continues on with his evaluation of Dean, and Sam seems to cheer up much more when Cas strikes a conversation with him about old literature... a little too much. Dean is suspicious now.

It turns out everything healed fine, and Dean is happy to be healthy once again. He's almost forgotten about Sam acting oddly cheery until they are on their way home. He glances over instinctively and sees Sam grinning like an idiot.

"What the hell are you being so goofy about?" Dean questions, raising an eyebrow.

Sam chuckles. "Dude, you have the biggest crush on Cas."

Dean spluttered and his face burned red. "I-i do not!" but it was completely obvious on his face.

Sam smiles. "I think he likes you too, You should ask him out on a real date tomorrow. You know, you have never had an actual relationship. Get on that, man."

"Sam, you know I don't have time for stupid stuff like that." he grumbled. _And he's amazing and perfect and no matter what I do, I will never deserve him. Not that I like him that much. It's just a little crush anyways._ "Isn't it?" he mumbled quietly.

"What..? Oh never mind. Seriously dude, you don't do anything for yourself! You better ask that doctor out, or I will throw a huge fit. And you don't want me to throw a fit." He softened a bit. "Dean, please. If not for yourself, then for me."

"Aw, dude. Low blow!" But he knew he was right. "... Fine." he grimaced. He was positive that Castiel would say no, and the thought made his insides cold.

-

The next morning, Dean spent an unusual amount picking out his clothes. He stared, brow furrowed, with his small collection of clothes spread out on his untidy bed. He finally decided on a gray t-shirt with a Bon Jovi logo on it and a pair of jeans with strategically placed rips to hopefully make him have a hot rugged look.

He was being picked up by Cas, something about carpooling; and though Dean wouldn't admit it, he was kinda looking forward to riding in that Porsche. The car pulled up with a slow hum and Dean's heart began racing a mile a minute. Thank God Sam was at classes, so he couldn't make fun of Dean for acting like a teenage girl.

He hops into the car, looking Cas up and down. He's wearing a white collared shirt and acid-washed jeans with a rip in the middle of his thigh. Suddenly, Dean's own jeans felt a little tight. He looked up and inwardly purred when he saw that Cas was surveying him with appreciation. Good start.

They got to the pie shop and Dean's mouth was watering. "Oh my pie," he mouthed, looking at the extensive menu. _Over Forty Flavors!_This was his fucking heaven. Cas smiled brightly. God his smile was lovely. It was going to make it even harder to be rejected by h- no, he's not gonna let that thought cloud his mind. It'll only make it harder.

Dean finally settled on a special berry pie, containing red and black raspberries, cherries, and blueberries. Cas got a simple slice of lemon meringue. They sat there talking and smiling, moving a little closer in that way they do without thinking. When they were at their usual difference apart, Dean cleared his throat nervously, causing Cas to tilt his head in that same lovely way of confusion.

_Here goes everything_ he thought, running his hands through his hair, mussing it up a bit. "Um.. Cas?" he choked out and hated the way his voice cracked on Cas's name.

Cas smiled, nodding in encouragement. "Yes Dean?"

"Well, I was.. um.. Well, ya see.." Cas's hand slid on top of Dean's, filling him with warmth. The next words came out rushed and sloppy, and honestly a little bit too loud. "I-was-wondering-if-you-would-go-on-an-actual-date -with-me!" Several heads nearby turned at the sudden sharp tone, eyes wide.

Cas seemed a bit taken aback and stared deeply into Dean's eyes silently until Dean squirmed a bit. Then he grabbed Dean's hand more firmly.

"I thought you'd never ask." His smile literally lit up the entire room, face crinkling, eyes brightening, dimples showing. Perfect.

Now to make some date preparations...

...He's gonna need some help from Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

"Sammy!"

Dean burst through the door of their apartment, giddy as fuck and nervous as hell. "Sammy boy!" Where the hell was that kid?

He jogged through the house, checking in every room until he got to Sam's. He peeked in a snorted. Sam, with his long limbs and giant hands, was attempting to button up a vest around himself, his hair slicked back with tons of gel to keep that long ass trainwreck in place.

"Dude, you look so pretty," Dean snickered, making Sam jump up from what he's doing and blush slightly.

"I.. I have a date with Jessica tonight." He spat out, slightly frustrated as he went back to fumbling with the buttons.

Dean's eyes softened as he walked over to assist Sam. "Well, you did pretty well with your hair. Oh, and um... I thought I'd let you know that Cas said yes. We are having dinner at 8 tomorrow. I.. uh.. I gotta come up with a place to take him." Dean concentrated heavily on the buttons, his face burning. His mind had been swimming with places good enough for Cas the entire ride home, but none of them seemed like they would be.

Sam's face lit up, nervousness disappearing for a bit. "Dude, that's frikkin awesome! Castiel seems like an awesome guy, I'm sure you could take him anywhere and he'd be happy." he paused, his face turning more sinister. "Aww this is wittle Deany's fiwst date!" He grinned, laughing loudly in his deep voice.

Dean looked up at him, _frikkin have to look up at this behemoth_, and stared him down with the best glare he could muster. "Dude, I'm gonna be honest here. I'm panicking like a fuckin kid here, so help me out some?"

Sam choked slightly and calmed down, face growing kinder. "Okay, here's the deal. You don't bag on me when I get home tonight, and I'll help you set up everything you need tomorrow. This is a big moment dude. I'm really... I'm really proud of you man." It's not often Sam says that to Dean. Sure, Dean says it to Sam all the time, but he deserves it constantly. It's not often that Dean deserves it, and hearing Sam say that made his heart jerk a bit.

He looked up at his little brother, a small smile on his face. "I'm proud of you too Sammy. Now, I'm assuming you want to borrow the Impala? You be careful with my baby, and you treat that girl right."

Sam was practically bouncing with excitement and nerves. "I promise, I promise. I gotta go get her now. Thanks Dean!" He bent down so Dean could kiss him on the forehead. "I'll see you later."

"I promise not to wait up," Dean winked at Sam as he ran out the door, blushing furiously.

Now, he had the entire night to sit there and freak out about tomorrow alone. Great.

-

When Sam asked Dean what he spent the night before doing, Dean simply shrugged and calmly said he had watched movies and drank beer until he was tired. However, he had actually spent the night googling date ideas and restaurants in his area.

Now he was sitting here, fidgeting like crazy as Sam picked out a suitable outfit from Dean's closet. Reservations were set at this little restaurant/coffee house. It was pretty unknown and laid back; bookshelves, a little stage with live performances, poetry readings,some tables even had beanbags. It had just seemed to Dean like something Cas would enjoy.

Sam picked out possibly the only collared button-up shirt Dean had and a pair of unripped jeans. He was letting Dean borrow one of his vests to wear over the shirt. It was a little loose, but not noticeably. And then, just like that, it was time.

With instructions to Cas's house, Dean was sent to go get him, since he wanted the place they were going to dinner (_The Clink_, whatever the hell that means)to be a complete surprise.

"Holy fuck." Dean said aloud to himself. Cas's house was huge! It was seriously gorgeous; two stories, but clearly it also had a basement. It had large lighted windows and black shutters and a beautiful matching black door. Dean's stomach dropped. There was no way he was good enough for this guy.

He stumbled to the door and hit the doorbell, the action followed by a loud chime. There was a sound of rushed scuffling then a loud bang, a curse, then more scuffling. The sound greatly amused Dean and he was chuckling when Cas opened the door, looking extremely flustered and holding his knee, which Dean assumed was what had banged against the umbrella stand knocked over behind him. So the graceful angel in front of him can mess up after all. It made Dean feel a lot better. He peeked inside of Cas's house, seeing several large bookshelves, bursting with books, beautiful paintings lining the walls, and a living room space complete with comfy looking tan furniture, a large rug with a fluffy white cat sleeping peacefully, and a fireplace, currently unlit.

"Oh, um.. hi," Cas spoke breathlessly, as if he had been rushing. His hair was a bit mussed and Dean instinctively reached up to move a strand of hair out of Cas's face and back into place.

"Are you ready, or should I knock again?" Dean smirked slightly, Cas was just too damn adorable.

Cas blushed deeply. "N-no, I'm ready. Just had a few difficulties." He glared over at the umbrella stand, as if it had purposefully tripped him. "I'll get that later, shall we go?" he asked, grabbing a tan trench coat off of the coat hanger.

They finally arrived at The Clink, and much to Dean's pleasure, Cas had never been here, but he loved it immediately.  
Good, a new experience they could share together. Fuck Dean is girly. They sat down at a place near the stage (it was open mic night) and ordered their coffees, Dean taking his black, Cas with extra sugar ("Enjoying sweet coffee is no less manly, Dean!" he quickly defended himself at Dean's smirk) and sat back to watch a young woman try her luck at singing a song Dean didn't believe he had ever heard. He looked over to make a remark at Cas to see him swaying softly to the song as he sipped his coffee. His heart grew warmer and suddenly the performance was much more enjoyable.

They chatted kindly, holding each other's hands and eating a surprisingly delicious meal, getting closer to each other as normal. It was very nice and quiet, and then an announcer got onto the mic.  
"Any volunteers? We have room for a performer!"

Dean shrugged that off and turned back to his food to take a bite of his burger, only to realize that Cas was no longer across from him. He was now walking elegantly toward the stage, a small smile on his face. What the actual hell?

Dean stared dumbfounded as Cas took the mic and did a little wink at Dean. He whispered something to the guy running the songs, a big man with a huge beard, and the man nodded.  
Dean watched in anticipation, and slight embarrassment, as the first chords to "Let It Be" began to play. Dean was sure he had mentioned to Cas that it was one of his favorite songs.

He didn't know what he had expected, but it was not this. He was sitting there, leaning forward, mouth clearly open, eyes glazed, listening to an angel's voice sing the Beatles like no one ever has before. It was beautiful in his deep voice, stunning. Cas stared at him the entire time, smiling his crinkly little smile, belting out the most lovely sound Dean had ever heard. He was certain that everyone in the restaurant was watching Cas, wanting Cas, fucking Cas with their eyes. But he was Dean's.

That realization shocked him. Cas was _his_ and Dean wasn't gonna let anyone else have him.

After the song finished, the entire restaurant burst into cheers, none of which were louder than Dean's, and Cas slid back into his seat, grinning like a complete adorable fool.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard," Dean blurted out, grabbing Cas's hands tightly. He didn't know what else to say, nothing that could honestly tell how he felt, so he leaned in close and brushed his lips gently against Cas's. "Mine.." he quietly muttered to himself without thinking, then blushed deeply, pulling back, but not letting go of Cas's hand. He seriously hoped that Cas had not heard him say that. If he did, he did not acknowledge it, much to Dean's relief. Cas was blushing, however, from their exchange of lips. Dean was sure he was too, and he wanted more, much more. But he held his tongue and the date continued lovingly, with sweet conversation, blushing glances, hand holding, and a kickass burger.

Now they were standing on Cas's doorstep, awkwardly saying good bye. Dean wasn't quite sure what to do, he had never been on a date, and the night always ended with him bringing the girl or guy inside for a nice fucking. But even though he wanted that with Cas, so frikkin badly, he wanted to take it slow even more, so he just stood there, fidgeting. Cas smiled warmly.

"Tonight was very lovely, Dean. I enjoyed spending time with you." He leaned in close, Dean's heart beating hard, threatening to bust out of his chest. Then, their lips were together, Cas's lips so soft and sweet against Dean's. Dean's tongue traced around Cas's, begging for entrance until Cas opened his mouth slightly, letting him in, and Dean happily took the chance, their tongues battling for dominance (which Dean totally won). The kiss was long, passionate, yet sweet and chaste.

They pulled apart a minute later, or maybe an hour. Dean's mind was too fuzzy to tell.  
Cas's eyes were glazed over and he bit his kiss-swollen lower lip, as if wanting to ask something, but knew he couldn't.

Dean squeezed Cas's hand one last time and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight Cas." He smiled sweetly and began to walk away, but Cas didn't let go.

"Wait! Can.. can we maybe do this again soon? Maybe.. maybe I could come over and see Sam. I-i have a book I think he would enjoy reading." He was nervous, his usual calm and kind composure a bit chipped, possibly afraid that Dean would not want to see him again. Dean thought that was an extremely ridiculous notion.

"I'd love that. Maybe he can bring Jessica over too. If you don't have any plans Friday, that is."

"Free as a bird." He grinned, finally letting go of Dean's hand. Dean couldn't help it, and he pulled Cas in for one last kiss before reluctantly leaving, his head swimming as he drove home.

Tonight his hand was definitely getting a workout.


	5. Chapter 5

It's Wednesday.

Fucking.  
Wednesday.

That's two days with no Cas. Two painfully long days. At least he was working at the shop today. Focusing on cars is nice. He knows what he's doing and it takes plenty of concentration. However, he couldn't keep himself from humming "Let It Be", gaining plenty of curious glances from Bobby.

"Why are you so happy, ya idjit?" Bobby gruffed out, making Dean blush.

"Nothing Bobby, nothing at all." He smiled, but furrowed his brow. He wasn't sure why he wasn't telling Bobby that he had a boyfriend. There are several reasons, he supposed. Bobby didn't know Dean was into men at all, for one. Another is the same reason he didn't tell Sam about their friendship. Cas is brilliant, rich, gorgeous, and a shockingly amazing singer. Dean.. Dean was nothing. He didn't have intelligence or money, and he just wasn't good enough for Cas. He thought that if he even discusses being with him to someone else, Cas will somehow realize how he's way too good for Dean.

Bobby let it go, but had a small look of suspicion.

Work went fast, and he got home to find a note letting him know that Sam was once again out with Jessica. They'd been seeing each other for a while now, it was nice.  
Dean cranked up the heat in their apartment a bit, It was really frikkin cold for just being September, and sat down in his favorite recliner, an old worn dark brown leather seat that he took from the old house. It creaked a bit under his weight but stayed firm. He flipped through the channels until he found what he was looking for, the newest episode of Doctor Sexy. Hell yeah.

Halfway through he drifted off, falling into a uneasy slumber.

-

_Dean was walking through a hospital, down a well-lit hallway that seemed to stretch for miles, doors lining each side. Suddenly, he stopped and went through a door, he somehow knew it was the right one, as you do in dreams. A man was inside wearing a white doctor's coat and cowboy boots, facing away from Dean.  
"Doctor Sexy?" Dean inquired. The man turned around. He had long fingers, pale skin, mussed up raven black hair, and piercing blue eyes._

"Ah, Doctor Winchester, I assume the surgery went well?" The man asked. Dean was completely confused but nodded. "Good, now c'mere." The man pulled him close, hands on the small of his back, and kissed him deeply. He grabbed Dean's ass through his tight jeans and lifted him up onto the table, sitting him down and biting his lip roughly. Dean felt a bulge grow in his jeans and gently moaned as his own Doctor Sexy nipped at his neck, taking off his coat. Dean fisted his hand into the man's dark messy hair, tilting his head back to make his neck more vulnerable to his lover. He opened his eyes slightly and realized they were no longer in a doctor's office. They were instead now in a huge mansion, Dean's ass resting on a long dining table; the man in front of him remained the same, unphased by this sudden change in scenery.

"Oh Cas," Dean moaned, pulling the man closer to grind his groin against Cas's own bulge. At this contact the man suddenly stopped, pulling away and eyeing Dean with a look of disgust, his eyes were now pure black.

"Look at you. You are nothing to me, nothing but poor and uneducated dirt. I will never be yours, and I could never love a man like you. You are rags to my riches."

Dean flinched at the words, as if they had burned him and yelled out in pain, sitting up suddenly. 

-

He jumped out of the recliner, awaking very suddenly. Doctor Sexy had ended and an episode of Days of Our Lives was on. Dean turned off the tv with the remote and rubbed his eyes, noticing they were wet with tears. He grimaced and chugged down a beer before retiring to his bed for a night of dreamless sleep.

-

Thursday, Dean had to work at the bar. He gave his charming smiles to the ladies and men, but his heart wasn't into it. He just needed the extra tips. One particular girl was very interested in Dean, dropping heavy hints of her intentions. He winked at her but didn't reply. He didn't want her to think that he was going to take her home.

Though apparently she didn't get it, because on the last hour of his shift she leaned across the bar, extremely drunk at this point.

"Hey big boy, how about you take me home tonight?" Dean chuckled and patted her hand.

"I think you've had a bit too much to drink toots. I'll call you a cab."

"Noooo I want you to take me home cutie." She leaned in suddenly and smacked a kiss on Dean's lips. He pulled away quickly, a look of anger and frustration on his face.

"Listen here, I've got someone I'm happy with, and if I don't fuck it up myself, I'll be _damned_ if I let you!" He yelled. He hadn't meant to say any of that. He had meant to make a joke and walked off to call a cab, but it just came out. He was still stressed about last night.

The girl was pissed as hell. She demanded to talk to his boss, and after a little yelling fight between her and Ellen, which ended with Ellen telling her what she did was sexual harassment and she better get her ass out of there before the cops were called, the young girl left in a whirl of fury. Ellen turned to Dean, a motherly look on her face.

"Listen Dean, I know that girl was a real bitch, and you're not in trouble, but next time that happens, just come to me before you freak out okay?

"Thanks Ellen..." Dean grumbled, muttering apologies on his way out. Maybe he needed to talk to Cas about this. Maybe..

-  
It's Friday!  
Dean hopped out of bed early in the morning, scrubbing and dusting and cleaning everything in his way. He did the dishes and put a load of clothes in the laundry and made sure everything was perfect. Sammy would be cooking, Dean couldn't cook to save his damn life, and since Jessica was coming over, Sam wanted to impress her with food.

Chicken Mozzarella. One of Dean's favorite homemade meals, and apparently Jessica's as well. He liked this girl already, much better than that Ruby chick Sam dated in high school. That girl was a real bitch and Dean was secretly relieved when she left Sam for some kid named Alastair.

Jessica arrived first. She was a petite little thing, with long blonde hair and tan skin, really pretty. She hugged Sam closely, which was really funny because he's such a tall behemoth, before giving a timid hug to Dean.

"I've heard so much about you, Dean. Don't worry most of it was good." She smirked. A girl with an attitude, he could tell.

He smiled "I can say the same to you." he remarked, walking towards the door. The doorbell had rang, and he knew what that meant. Cas was here, and his stomach was dropping. Dean really hoped that the house looked okay, even if it was small and the only art they had up was a drawing on the fridge that Sam had made when he was five.  
Dean opened the door and there he was, the man of his dreams, smiling brightly and practically radiating light. He was here for Dean, Dean reminded himself. He must care for him, at least a bit, to be here.

"Dean, I'm so happy to see you again" he said, giving his best crinkly smile, and leaning in to plant a quick kiss on Dean's lips. Behind him, Dean heard Sam make a gagging noise to Jessica, and Jessica's little snicker. Dean had to remember to hit him later.

Dinner was really awesome, actually. Dean talked to Jessica quite a bit, and learned that she actually knew a bit about cars. Not nearly as much as him, or even Sam, but enough to hold up a simple conversation. Meanwhile, Sam and Cas talked about literature. It turned out Sam had read the book Cas brought for him, and loved it, and they were breaking it down and discussing theories and other crap like that. Every once in a while Dean would look over and just watch Cas. He got so excited talking about literature, articulating with those beautiful hands, flicking those thin sexy wrists. He'd stare until he realized that Sam wasn't laughing at what Cas said, but at Dean's look, and he'd snap back to a conversation with Jessica, who was patiently snickering. Overall, the dinner was a success. Dean went to pick up everyone's plate but was intercepted by Jessica, who began to carry them into the kitchen (they had eaten in the living room, due to lack of a dining room in their apartment).

"Jessica, I can get that, you're a guest." Dean objected.

"Oh, please. You guys have done enough. Though I wouldn't refuse a little help from Sam." She winked at him and he got up hurriedly, banging his knee against the couch.

Now it was just Cas sitting on the couch and Dean in his recliner chair. Dean gave him a little _get your fine ass over here_ and Cas plopped onto Dean's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck as he bent his sweet lips to kiss Dean's. He pressed into it deeply, pushing his tongue into Cas's hot mouth, fisting his hands in that lovely dark hair to push Cas closer. Cas's hands were on his chest, pulling gently on his t-shirt as if it were the most irritating inconvenience ever.

Dean suddenly thought of his dream and pulled back, causing Cas to cock his head to the side in confusion.

"Is something wrong, Dean?"

"N-no, not at all. I was just thinking that Sammy might walk in," he lied. "Maybe we can go to my room?" Cas hesitated but nodded gently, getting up and allowing Dean to lead him to his tiny room. Dean had cleaned in here too, thankfully. He had even made his bed, which was extremely rare for him.

As Cas laid down on the bed, eyes wide with a need and and lips swollen slightly, Dean thought a small prayer to have the willpower to get through this without attacking this perfect little angel.

He laid down on top of Cas carefully, connecting their lips once more, tongue on tongue. A deep groan came from the back of Cas's throat, possibly the sexiest sound Dean had ever heard. He pushed his body against Cas's, grinding their groins together and Cas gasped into Dean's mouth, his breath hot and sweet. Dean had his hands on Cas's hips and Cas had his in Dean's hair, and it was just too sexy for Dean. If he wasn't careful, he'd cum in his pants like a little boy.

Cas pulled apart for a second and whispered into Dean's ear, a hoarse and deep sound.  
"Please Dean."

Dean groaned as he quickly unbuttoned Cas's pants. He wouldn't fuck him, and he doesn't think that's what Cas meant anyways. It was too early in their relationship for that. Dean cared about him too much. Instead he pulled down Cas's underwear and placed his palm on Cas's dick (which was a very nice size by the way) and slowly ran his hand down and up, making Cas moan quietly. Dean kissed him harder, teeth clacking slightly, while he thumbed the slit in Cas's dick. His own dick was throbbing in his pants, but he wasn't as preoccupied with it. He was completely focused on the beautiful man below him who was digging his fingers into Dean's ass, his piercing blue eyes shut at the moment, soaking in the pleasure, his perfect cheek bones flushed deep red, lips swollen and bitten. It was everything he's ever wanted, he thought as he bent in for another kiss, this time much sweeter as he continued to stroke Cas.

It wasn't long before he could feel Cas tense, his hips bucking up, instinctively trying to fuck Dean's hand as he got closer to climax. Dean nibbled on Cas's neck and collarbone, groaning with each little mewl and gasp Cas made. It was just too sexy. Then Cas gasped out Dean's name as he came on Dean's hand, convulsing under Dean and kissing him roughly.

Dean brought up his hand and licked some of the cum, eliciting another moan of pleasure from Cas. It was sweet and salty and tasted of Cas. Cas's after-orgasm face was stunning. It was literally the most beautiful he had ever seen Cas. Messy, sweaty, and vulnerable.

Cas was ready to return the favor, but they heard Sam yell for Dean, asking where the Brillo pads were, and broke away. _That's a damned shame_, Dean thought as they made themselves presentable to go back to the living room. But he didn't really care. He was happy to make Cas feel that way. He snuck another kiss in before they rejoined their company downstairs. Soon after, Jessica had to leave, followed eventually by Cas after a short secret make-out session by the door. They made plans to meet again tomorrow after Cas was done with work to get coffee at The Clink, it was poetry night, and Cas wanted to listen to the amateur poets. Dean was sad to see Cas go still, and went to his room before he could be teased by Sam.

Seriously, his hand was getting pretty damn strong.


	6. Chapter 6

The next month was the happiest Dean had ever been.

And the most miserable.

He loved spending time with Cas. They would go to The Clink, or their little pie place, or even hang at Dean's apartment. (They did that a lot, Sam loved discussing literature with Castiel.) Dean liked that, because it meant some time alone with soft lips on skin and wandering hands (speaking of which, Cas's hands were as talented as they were beautiful; holy Hell). They hadn't gone any farther though, though they had definitely come close.

Dean knew the reason he always made sure Cas didn't go farther. It was the same reason Bobby was still in the dark. His nightmares still haunted him. They always started out lovely, hot, sexy, but then things would change, colors would become distorted, and Cas's eyes would turn pure black, his face contorted with disgust.

He knew in his heart that Cas's interest in him would be short-lived. But he was planning to make the best of it when he had it, try to hold on tight to the man he loved. God, he was becoming a whiny little bitch.

So now, here they were, two months into their relationship, Cas laying on top of Dean, kissing and nipping at his neck while Dean ground against him. Cas moaned gently in between bites, a low needy noise that drove Dean crazy.

Suddenly Cas sat up and stripped off his shirt, leaning back in to kiss Dean passionately. He tugged at Dean's shirt impatiently, attempting to take it off, grunting slightly. Dean grew nervous, eyes widening. "Um.. Cas, are you sure you want to-" but he was cut off with a steamy kiss.

"Dean, I think we can move past hand play, at least a little bit. I would've thought you would be hopping on the opportunity." He winked and licked his lips seductively. Dean's self-control melted. He glanced down at Cas's shirtless figure, something he had been trying to avoid doing, and drank it all in; he was skinny, but clearly had muscles, his chest was smooth with a small bit of chest hair and a happy trail leading to one of Dean's favorite places. His skin was even paler here, and it looked sexy as hell on him, and his figure was a perfect mix of feminine and masculine. Holy. Fuck.

Dean has never torn off his shirt faster than that, grabbing Cas close, hot skin against skin. He nibbled on Cas's earlobe, eliciting a sweet moan as he quickly unbuttoned Cas's jeans. Cas took control and pushed Dean down on the bed hard, pulling off Dean's pants and boxers in one fluid motion. Dean had never seen this side of Cas. His blue eyes were wild, his face flushed. He bit at Dean's collarbone, kissing down to his nipples, sucking and licking them tenderly. Dean gasped in pleasure and dug his fingers into Cas's hair, thrusting forward slightly, rubbing against the denim of Cas's unbuttoned jeans. Cas made his way farther down, biting and nipping at Dean's thighs, purposefully neglecting Dean's throbbing member, making the man above him whimper. Then, suddenly, a firm lick was placed on the very tip of Dean's dick, making him mewl and shudder. Holy mother of fuck this was awesome.

Cas licked from the base to the tip of Dean's most sensitive part, flicking his tongue over his slit before taking his length into his mouth completely, sucking to the base and then back up (Dean didn't even know that was possible!), tongue never stopping. Dean was saying Cas's name over and over like a prayer. Normally he would be embarrassed,but fuck he didn't care one bit. Cas's mouth was amazing! Cas took in Dean's length, which was a pretty damn generous size, over and over, gaining speed. It was taking all of Dean's willpower not to cum, little groans escaping his mouth. Cas placed his hands on either side of Dean's hips and dug his nails in, and that was it. Dean couldn't hold back any longer, and he came into his lover's mouth. Cas swallowed the load before coming back up to kiss Dean deeply, allowing him to taste himself.

Dean was breathing heavily, holding the man laying on top of him tightly, their chests pressed against each other. "That was fucking amazing. Like, wow." He gasped out, nuzzling Cas. Cas still had that wild look in his eyes, his face the picture of lust.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," he chuckled, standing up and pulling Dean up with him. "Now you're going to get your little ass down on your knees and suck my dick."

Dean literally just stared. Had that seriously just came out of his angel's sweet mouth? And why the hell was it so damn hot?  
Cas hissed playfully and tugged on Dean's hair, and Dean quickly scrambled down, tearing off the rest of Cas's clothes to release his throbbing erection. He knew he couldn't take in as much as Cas, but he had some damn good tongue tricks.

"Now suck it, loverboy," Cas growled out, fisting his hands deeper into Dean's hair. God dammit, this was just too sexy for Dean. He pressed his lips on the head of Cas's erection, humming slightly to create a vibrating effect (a move he had learned a couple years back from some cougar he had taken home) making Cas pull his dirty blonde hair roughly. Dean moaned in pleasure around Cas's member and took in as much as he could, wrapping his hand around the rest and rubbing in motion to sucking. He moved downwards, kissing at Cas's balls as he continued to rub quicker and harder. The sounds Cas was making above were very much entertaining and Dean used his free hand to grab Cas's tight ass roughly.

Dean was sure Cas was mumbling to himself in a deep strained voice above, and thought he had heard several curse words being uttered. Who would have thought the quiet, beautiful doctor was so dirty? The thought was making him hard again and he focused his attention back on Cas's tip, using several of his favorite tongue moves until he felt the man above him tense as he came in Dean's mouth. Damn he loved the taste of Cas.

Dean came back up to Cas's eye level and saw the wild look was barely there anymore, replaced with his usual crinkly kindness as he smiled fondly at Dean, stroking his hair gently. Dean had a sarcastic remark in mind, but he was just too tired. He pulled Cas onto the bed and Cas snuggled up into his chest. They drifted off into a sweet slumber together; Dean didn't have any nightmares that night.

-

"So, you wanna tell me what happened last night?"

"Well, Dean, I would say we had a lovely night and took our relationship to the next level"

They were still laying in bed, Dean admiring Cas's bed hair in the soft morning light.

"Oh no no no, you know what I mean. Wild Cas, where did he come from?" Dean grinned as he saw Cas blush brightly.

"O-oh. I suppose I do get quite out of control. I apologize if I offended you." Cas was hiding his face slightly, clearly very embarrassed. It was so adorable.

"Are you kidding me? That was fantastic! Very unexpected, and honestly pretty new, but wow. You continue to amaze me." He said fondly, resting a hand on Cas's blushing cheek.

"Well then I guess we will just have to go another round, shall we?" Cas grinned, his eyes brightening.

Best. Morning. Ever.

-

"Okay, seriously Dean, I'm no idjit. You ain't never this happy, and somethin's up. Now talk"

Dean should've realized he couldn't go around grinning like a fool all day without Bobby noticing.  
He supposed it was time to confess.

"Bobby, I'm in a relationship. A real one. With a person named Cas." He realized he had purposefully left out a rather important pronoun.

Bobby's face lit up like never before. He was the one grinning now. "Dean, yer kiddin' me?! That's amazin'! You've been holdin' out on me, when do I get ta meet the lovely lady, Cass was it?"

Well, here we go. "Well, actually, _his_ name is Castiel." Bobby's face was slowly slipping from a grin to a look of confusion, which was quickly turning into another emotion, one that Dean was pretty sure wasn't good. But he kept talking anyways. "He's really great, he's a doctor, actually. That's how we met, y'know when I broke my rib? He's really amazing and smart and Sammy loves him and he's just... great." Dean had been focused on his feet the whole time and now looked up to see the look of rage he was sure was on Bobby's face.

However, that wasn't the emotion he saw. It was... understanding. Bobby walked up to Dean slowly and enveloped him in a hug. Dean was frozen in shock. He had expected rage or disappointment, not this, and it all just overwhelmed him too much. Tears started to flow freely from his eyes as he hugged Bobby back tightly.

"Shhh.. It's okay, Dean. I get it." Bobby was okay with Dean dating Cas. Hell, he was okay with Dean... loving Cas? Yes, loving Cas. He loved Cas, and the realization made him cry harder. Thank God they were alone, this would seriously destroy his reputation.

Bobby looked up at Dean teasingly.

"Now, when do I get to meet the idgit dumb enough to date you?"


	7. Chapter 7

Dean couldn't remember a time where he DIDN'T stress about what clothes to wear.  
He was seriously turning into a frikkin girl. He was stressing so bad; In one hour he'd be sitting down to a dinner with Sammy, Cas, and Bobby. _And Bobby was excited about this!_ Dean had had a mini panic attack in private earlier that day, attempting to calm himself with a beer and some reassuring texts from Cas. But now there was no way to relax the lump in his throat. Cas was meeting Dean's only family left.

They arrived around 4:30. Sam lightly rapped on the door, Dean cautiously staying behind him. Bobby's enthusiasm seemed too good to be true. Hell, this whole _thing_ was too good to be true. However, when Bobby opened the door he was all smiles. He hugged Dean and Sam and shook Cas's hand firmly, raising his eyebrows at Dean in a "how'd ya manage to wrangle such a good lookin' man up?" kinda way and Dean blushed and shrugged.

Cas took a little tour of Bobby's shack, admiring the old decor; Dean loved that childlike wonder that Cas seemed to have over the simplest things. It was very endearing.

Afterwards they sat down to dinner, Bobby questioning Cas about all of the usual things; family, profession, and various other tidbits.  
Occasionally, when Dean and Cas had their hands together, deep in conversation, Dean would glance over and see Bobby staring at them, a warm smile on his face, and a hint of emotion in his eyes. What emotion was that? Dean couldn't seem to pinpoint it, but it looked an awful lot like sadness.

"So Bobby, how's Sheriff?" Sam asked politely between swigs of his beer. They had finished eating and were now resting in the living room, Cas's legs draped on top of Dean's lazily.

"Hmm? Oh.. oh! Right, she's doin' mighty well." Bobby grinned. Dean and Sam both knew that Bobby totally had a thing for Sheriff Jody and they had a suspicion that they may already be going out.

"I'm sure she is Bobby," Dean smirked, Sam snickering behind his beer bottle.

"Idjits.." Bobby muttered, resting back into his worn chair.

After some more pleasant visiting, it was time for them to leave. Bobby grabbed Cas and pulled him into a great big bearhug. "Welcome to the family, kid," he said, giving Cas a sharp pat on the back. Dean had never seen Cas shine brighter with happiness than in that moment. It was lovely and filled Dean with warmth. His brow furrowed a bit, thinking about how there's no way this could last much longer. But he squeezed Cas's hand tightly, planting a soft kiss on his stubbly cheek.

-

Tonight was different. Sam had a date with Jessica, so Dean dropped him off there before taking Cas home, considering it was closer. He made sure to plant a big wet kiss on Sam's cheek in plain view of Jessica before sending him off, leaving him blundering and red and her snickering. Ah, the pros of being a big brother.

Now it was just him and Cas, and his boyfriend turned to him timidly. "Dean, I was wondering if you would like to come into my house tonight."

Uh-oh. Dean was dreading this. He was certain that Cas would see him in that giant house, and realize that Dean looked very out of place, and nothing like what he wanted, and that would be it. However, he nodded slowly, swallowing the new lump in his throat and attempting to convince himself that his fears were just that. Empty fears.

Cas eagerly grabbed Dean's hand when they arrived, pulling Dean into his gigantic home. He dragged him to each room; the guest room, dining room, living room (which Dean had peered into on their first date), downstairs bathroom, upstairs bathroom (complete with one of those Jacuzzi tubs. "I tend to over-indulge in some aspects," Cas had admitted sheepishly), another spare bedroom, and a huge master bedroom. The bed was monstrous. It could easily fit four of Sam, with room to spare. And pillows, Jesus, there were like 20 of 'em!

Cas blushed slightly. "Another... indulgence." He had muttered before dragging Dean back downstairs, past the huge staircase and down into the basement, just as Dean had suspected there was one. But he didn't know it would be so awesome!

It was like the size of their apartment, and better equipped. Bookshelves lined one entire wall. One corner was a small kitchen, the other a mini living room with furniture and a small flat-screen television. A twin-sized bed sat in another corner, and off to the side was a bathroom with a toilet and a shower. There was also a frikkin pool table.

Dean was taking it all in when Cas strolled over to the table. "Um.. I never have guests over, so I mostly got this for myself. I enjoy playing, though it's not as satisfying without an opponent."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Was that a challenge I smell, Doctor Novak?" he growled playfully, grabbing a pool stick.

Cas grinned. "Depends if you're dumb enough to take it, Mr. Winchester."

Okay, so Dean was totally unfair about the entire game, leading to his win (pretty badly). He'd sneak up behind a concentrating Cas and nibble on his ear, causing him to loose his focus, and pinch his ass playfully. It's impossible to win under conditions where Dean Winchester is fondling you.

After the game was done, Dean smiled guiltily. "I mayyy have neglected to mention that me and Sammy used to hustle guys as a living. We'd hang around the bar when we were young and bet older drunk men in games of pool. It gave us some hearty spending money," he grinned.

"You cheating dog" Cas smirked, smacking Dean firmly on the ass. "I think you deserve a punishment." He nipped Dean's neck, making him shudder. "Now get that tight ass up those stairs." He demanded with another firm smack, sending Dean playfully scurrying up the stairs.

"Oh no, whatever shall I do? I've been a naughty boy!" He snickered and bent over slightly, allowing Cas to land another smack on his rump before running off again.

Dean had rounded the corner into the living room when...

BAM! Mreeeooowww! "Fuck!"

Cas turned the corner in a quick panic to see Dean sprawled out on the couch, an angry fluffy cat clawing at his side.

His cheeks turned red with the effort of not laughing hysterically as he pulled of his cat. "Bad Chuck, no!" At the look of bewilderment on Dean's face, he could no longer hold in his laughter, hunched over in fits of gasps and snorts.

"That little Devil's spawn's name is Chuck? Really?" Dean groaned, attempting to get off the couch and eyeing the couch. "Little bitch came outta no where..." He grumbled quietly.

"I.. I am so sorry D-Dean" Cas wheezed out. "I should have w-warned you that he takes a while to w-warm up to new p-people!" He collapsed onto the nearest chair, hardly able to breath, his face red and tears of laughter pouring down his face.

Dean sat back down on the couch upright and grumped. That hurt, and he was rather enjoying his little punishment.

"Aww, c'mere." Cas said in a mock-sympathetic voice. Dean crawled onto his lap, his lips out in a pouty position. "Now where did that mean ol' kitty hurt you?"

Dean held back a smirk and pointed to his lip, a look of fake sadness on his face.

"Let me kiss it better" Cas whispered, tilting Dean's head back as if in a romantic movie and kissing him passionately. After several seconds he broke the kiss. "Now let's go get you lying down, Loverboy."

Dean liked that evil little smirk.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas shut the door to his bedroom tightly, quickly turning around to face his love. He looked marvelously primitive with lust as he stripped off his shirt and pants. He rushed over to Dean in one swift movement, removing all of his garments while kissing and biting at anything within reach. Dean shuddered and mewled while Cas undressed him with a forceful need. Dean backed up, fully naked, and climbed to the farthest side of the gigantic bed unsteadily, sitting his ass firmly on one of the pillows.

"Oh Doctor Novak, what exactly are your intentions here? I thought I was merely a patient." He smiled sweetly, putting on his most innocent face.

Castiel made a snarling noise from the back of his throat; the innocent act was clearly a turn-on for him. He crawled towards where Dean sat on the bed like a hungry predator, eyes glinting with the wildness Dean was growing to very much love.

"You are a very naive little patient then, Mr. Winchester. And I do believe I still owe you punishment. But since I am such a very kind and sweet... master," he grinned, kissing Dean's collarbone between words, "your punishment shall be a simple one. You are to please your master."

Dean was panting, fingers curled in Cas's soft hair. It smelled sweet, like blooming honeysuckle. He made a small note to ask what shampoo he used when they weren't so... preoccupied. Dean moved his head downwards, but was stopped by a firm hand holding his chin and pulling him back up.

"Oh no no no. I do not intend for you to please me that way. I have much bigger plans." He pushed Dean down gently with a firm hand on his chest then leaned over him, Dean nipping playfully at his nipple and receiving a soft moan in return. Cas dug around in his nightstand before pulling out a condom and a small half-empty tube of lube.

Oh.

Dean's brain may have possibly just stopped working.  
He stared blankly at Cas, who was now holding the condom in his teeth. Cas glanced up, seeing the look on Dean's face, and his eyes softened greatly.

"If at any point I get out of hand, pleathe don't be afraid to sthop me Dean. I do not wisth to do anyfing you are not prepared for." He said, voice muffled by the condom still in his teeth, but clearly holding a touch of worry.

Dean's brain kicked itself back to life and he quickly took in the scene before him. Cas, his lover, his "master" (mmm the thought made Dean shudder), was leaning over him, condom pack in his teeth, bottle of unscrewed lube in his hands, asking, no _demanding_, to be fucked by his little pet. How in the hell could he possibly want to put a stop to that?

"You gonna open that or what?" Dean smirked, gesturing at Cas's hand, and Cas quickly unscrewed the bottle of lube. He looked down at the condom and back at Dean, breaking character for a minute.

"Um.. Dean, must we use a condom? I was not sure if you necessitated it." He talked so fancy when he was nervous. Dean bit the other side of the condom, playfully tugging it out of Cas's mouth before throwing it aside.

"That answer your question?" Grinning, he kissed Cas deeply, biting his lower lips and pulling gently. Cas groaned, grinding against Dean, the soft fabric of his boxers on Dean's skin. "Now _master_, I suggest you remove your undergarments." Wooh, big word. Score one for Dean.

Cas kicked off his underwear, once again grinding his throbbing erection against Dean's. Dean whimpered in pleasure and Cas's eyes lit up once more, yanking on Dean's hair roughly.

Cas shoved the bottle of lube into Dean's hands, grinding faster and moaning into Dean's neck, his hot breath making Dean shiver with pleasure. This was certainly an interesting first time. But they would have more times (hopefully) to take it slow and loving. Now was not one of them.

Dean lubed up his fingers and lowered his hand, circling a finger around Cas's tight entrance until the muscles calmed. He kissed Cas roughly, his tongue exploring the older man's mouth as Dean slowly pushed in a finger, making Cas gasp. Dean worked it around for a while, letting Cas's body become used to the sudden intrusion before sliding in another one. He moved his fingers in and out slowly, scissoring and getting deeper until he hit Cas's sweet spot, making the man above him dig his nails into Dean's shoulders and yell out his name.

"Oh God Dean right there, don't stop!" he yelped, pushing into Dean's fingers. Dean grinned evilly and slowed his movements, receiving irritated grunts from his partner, who was moving his body in an attempt to fuck Dean's fingers. Damn it was hot.

"Winchester! I demand you do your best to please your master!" Cas growled in frustration, biting Dean sharply in the neck.

"Y-yes sir." Dean spluttered, This may possibly be the best moment of his life, hands down. He continued to scissor and finger fuck Cas, adding another finger and making sure he was sufficiently stretched. By this point, Dean's member was throbbing, begging for attention, from all the sweet noises his partner had been making.

Finally, he rubbed the lube onto his erection, slight relief flooding his body, and rubbed the head against Cas's opening teasingly.

"Dean, go!" Cas snarled, need and want clear in his face as he leaned down to nibble on Dean's lips.

Dean slowly pushed in, feeling the tight heat of Cas, until he was completely engulfed. Cas felt absolutely amazing, making Dean's dick throb inside of him. Cas's muscles tightened slightly in response, sending a wave of pleasure up his spine.

"Dean," Cas whimpered, kissing at Dean's jaw bone. "Please move."

And then Dean was in it, pulling almost completely out and thrusting all the way back in hard. Cas gasped loudly, grinding back in response. Dean continued to thrust, pounding into Cas's prostate, the man on top of him desperately kissing Dean's chest, nibbling on his nipples, as he whimpered Dean's name over and over. Dean gripped Cas's hips roughly, grinding deep inside him. The feeling was absolutely amazing and he never wanted it to stop. He moved one hand to thumb the slit of Cas's hard erection, determined to make his lover cum first.

"Yes, Dean yes!" Cas yelled out, throwing his head back. Dean leaned up and bit Cas's exposed neck roughly, making Cas scream with pleasure. Dean flipped them around, him now being on top as he pounded into Cas, still rubbing his erection fast and hard. Cas was close, he could tell by the look in his eyes. He pressed himself against Cas, the friction of their stomachs on Cas's dick proving too much for him.

He came, splattering their stomachs with his hot seed, yelling out Dean's name in between breathless kisses. Dean sped up, allowing Cas to ride out his orgasm. He was suddenly pulled closer, Cas putting his lips right to Dean's ear, hot breath tickling slightly. "Yes Dean, I am yours. And you are mine."

So Cas had heard him that night after all. Cheeky bastard. Cas then bit Dean's earlobe (a very sensitive spot for him), causing Dean to cum inside his lover. He groaned, continuing to thrust through his orgasm before pulling out and collapsing in a tired heap beside Cas. They were a mess, and Dean had never seen Cas look more beautiful, he thought as he cuddled up next to him.

-

Dean awoke to find himself face-to-face with Cas, who was still sleeping soundly, looking like a sweet angel. Dean stretched and looked over at the clock. Holy hell it was 10am! He poked Cas gently, who grumbled in irritation.

"Cas, it's late, we should get up."

"No, fuck you." Cas muttered, turning around. Dean chuckled. Clearly, not a morning angel.

"C'mon Cas, it's late, and I'm sure Sammy is home already, worried sick."

Cas pulled up his head and glanced at the clock, blue eyes glazed over with sleep. "Late? Are you kidding me? Screw you Dean." he growled, cuddling back into Dean's side and closing his eyes shut. Dean snickered and rested his hand gently on Cas's face, nuzzling him. Cas opened one eye, one stunning and beautiful blue eye, and peered up at Dean.

"Darn it, why are you so cute?" Cas groaned, sitting up slowly and rubbing his eyes. "Fine, but I'm getting the first shower. Turn on my music? If not, you are going to see a very bitchy Castiel Novak."

"Oh, so I haven't seen him yet?" Dean teased, earning a grumpy look. He got up and walked over to a shelf filled with all different types of music from every decade, even recent. He pressed play on Cas's music player, his ears suddenly filled with Bon Jovi.

"Oh, _Hell_ yes, finally a man with taste." He grinned brightly, turning around to see Cas enter the nicely-sized bathroom attached to his bedroom. He had not noticed it earlier. (Can anyone blame him? He was pretty damn focused on that bed.)

He waited patiently, reading the labels on the extensive music collection Cas had. He truly had everything, it was mind-blowing. Though he couldn't quite picture Cas listening to some of these singers, like Nicki Minaj, whatever that was. He turned around when he heard the door creak open to see Cas standing there, raven hair dripping wet and a towel hung loosely around his hips. He was the very definition of "yum".

He was swaying his hips gently to the music as he walked over to his drawers and began rummaging for clothes, the towel dropping down at his feet. He bent down to retrieve a pair of boxers from his bottom drawer, ass still swaying as Cas hummed in a perky tone.  
Once again, Dean is pretty sure his brain stopped working as he stared blatantly at Cas's ass. Cas glanced over his shoulder and grinned, a deep blush painting his face.

"Easy there, Dean. We ought to get you home to your brother before he thinks I kidnapped you."

It was Dean's turn to grumble, but he complied, taking his turn to clean himself up, kissing Cas good-bye, and drive home.

-

"Sammy, you home yet?" Dean yelled, opening the door to the apartment. He threw his keys on the counter and tried to cover up his stupid grin. He knew he was going to get teased for this but who cares? Last night was frikkin awesome!

"...Sammy?" Dean yelled a bit louder, slightly worried. Sam should be home by now, surely. It was nearly noon.

Dean was about to panic when he saw Sam huddled in the corner of his bed in his room, face in his massive hands.

"Sam? Are you okay?" Dean asked nervously, approaching his brother slowly.

When he was about two feet away, Sam turned to face him, eyes red and puffy, face worn from a night with no sleep. Dean was genuinely alarmed now, scooping his hulking brother into his arms and stroking his hair instinctively. "Sammy, what's wrong? Speak to me man."

Sam looked up, his puppydog eyes brimming with fresh tears. "She dumped me, Dean. She just threw me aside like nothing."

Shit.


	9. Chapter 9

"Okay, Sammy, it's all okay. Just tell me what happened." Dean pulled Sam closer, Sam curled up in a ball like when they were younger and Sam wasn't so big.

"I-it started out so great! We were talking and we w-watched a movie. But she sat farther away from me than usual. I-i thought she was just sick maybe. Then I went to kiss her and she.. she pulled away really quickly. And I asked what was wrong and she s-said that she couldn't do this anymore. She said she met a guy in one of her classes, n-named Azazel. Then she started going on about how he had these 'special eyes' and how s-sorry she is but she was b-breaking up with me. Then her mom gave me a ride home. _Her mom!_ And she kept apologizing for what her daughter did and I was just trying not to cry and it was awful!" His face was red and wet, eyes spilling over with tears as he recalled the entire awful situation.

"Sammy, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. I should've been here." Guilt ate at his heart. While he was having sex, Sam was sitting here alone in misery all night. "Sammy, look at me." His brother's greenish-blue eyes, a mixture of his mother's and father's, were filled with sadness as he looked up at Dean. "Sam, I know it hurts, and nothing I say will really matter, but it _will_ get better. This is college, and women are going to come and go a lot. You're funny and crazy smart and a looker, you're gonna be okay Sammy. It's just gonna take time. I promise." He kissed Sam on the forehead, pushing his hair back. "Here, how about I go make my special hot chocolate and we watch a movie, huh?"

Sam smiled a small, sad smile and nodded. "Dean.. could we invite Cas?" Dean was surprised but smiled softly.

"I'll call him right now, Sammy." He pressed his lips against Sam's forehead one last time like he used to when they were much much smaller and dad would disappear and left the room, flipping open his phone and dialing Cas's number.

"Dean! I had not expected a call from you today." His voice was shocked and a bit worried, and Dean went on to explain the situation they were in immediately. As it turns out, Cas didn't have any plans. Except to groom Chuck, but he could postpone. Dean grinned internally. _Good, that evil cat can go fuck itself._

Dean was in the kitchen, fixing up some hot chocolate and Sam was on the couch, huddled in a miserable ball of blankets, staring at the tv (that wasn't on) when the doorbell rang. Sam jumped up, blankets flying everywhere, as he stumbled to the door. "I got it!" he yelled. Dean could see the door from where he stood in front of the stove and watched as Sam opened the door to be engulfed in an understanding hug by Cas. The sight made Dean's heart warm up and feel all fuzzy.

Cas actually cared about Dean's family. Genuinely cared about this broken mess he had. Because Cas's family was broken too. Not in the same way, but broken nevertheless, and he understood.

Cas and Sam were discussing things that Dean didn't understand (smart people. Pssht.) when he walked in, carrying a tray with three mugs of hot chocolate on it, complete with whipped cream and the chocolate cookie straws that Sam loved so much (Dean kept a pack hidden in his room for emergency occasions such as this). They all sat on the same couch this time, cuddled up under a giant quilt, and watched an extremely horrible action movie (no romance!), laughing at the quality together. They stayed that way a little after the movie ended, talking about pointless things and laughing. Cas even stayed for dinner. By the end of it all, Sam had a smile on his face as he retired to bed.

-

A couple weeks later, Sam was still upset. He stayed in his room mostly, listening to sad break-up music. Dean wasn't too worried though, they had been together a long time and this was expected. Right now, Sam was at school. It was mid-December and Sam would be on break at the end of the week.

Right now, Dean was laying with his head in Cas's lap at Cas's house. They both had the day off, which was rare but nice. Usually they had to hang out late in the evening. Dean was getting used to Cas's house, and he quite enjoyed relaxing here. Even the cat was getting used to him, rubbing against his leg occasionally with a deep purr. They were watching Doctor Sexy (Dean had gotten Cas into the show), Cas stroking Dean's hair gently, when Cas suddenly paused the tv. Dean looked up questioningly.

"Dean, what do you want for Christmas?" Cas inquired, concentration in his deep blue eyes.

"I don't want anything."

"Seriously, what do you want?"

"A hug." Dean smirked.

"Dean, are you getting me something?"

Dean blushed and bit his lip, seeing what Castiel was getting at. "Yes, but that's... different."

"It isn't and you know it. Now, either you can tell me and make it much easier on me, or not and make it a difficult pain in the ass."

"Well then, I guess I'm just gonna be a pain in your ass." Dean grinned, switching his position to sitting on Cas's lap as he kissed him, tongue licking Cas's lips. He bit down Cas's jaw and nibbled on his neck, being awarded a small mewl from his partner.

_Ring Ring_

Cas grumbled but didn't go for his cellphone, scratching down Dean's back making Dean moan gently.

_Ring Ring_

"Noooo." Cas whined, biting Dean's shoulder.

_Ring Ring_

"You should probably get that." Dean chuckled as Cas dug into his pocket, his long beautiful hands easily flipping open the phone as he pressed it to his ear.

"Hello?" his voice had clear irritation in it, making Dean giggle. "Oh.. hey!" Cas sat up a bit, Dean still on his lap, and his eyes widened in surprise. Dean tilted his head to the side, worried. "Um, Yeah sure... yeah... yes of course... That can be arranged... okay, see you then."

Cas hung up the phone, his body rigid and his skin paler than usual. He buried his face into Dean's neck, grumbling quietly like a child.

"Um.. Cas? You mind explaining?" Cas lifted his face and looked at Dean, stress in his eyes.

"Dean, would you and Sam like to spend Christmas with me?"

Dean paused for a second. He had not expected that. but the more that he thought about it, the more it made sense.

"Yeah! I mean, we'd have to leave for a bit to go to Bobby's for lunch, but yeah, we'd love to." Dean saw a bit of relief flood into Cas's face. "Now, what was that phone call about?"

Cas stiffened again, his lips thin. "My family is coming in for Christmas."

_Oh._ "Oh."

"Yes, I don't think I can handle it alone." Cas mumbled sadly.

"When you say family..."

"Not my parents, of course; I think they may be somewhere in Africa. Lucifer also will not be joining us. Anna will be here with her husband, Uriel Milton, Gabriel will also be here as well as Michael and Raphael. Michael and Gabriel will be staying with me."

"Umm... yeah, of course we will come." Dean was nervous now.

"Dean... maybe you guys could even... stay here a few days. Sam could have one of the spare bedrooms, and Raphael would still have his down here on the bottom floor. And you could.. stay with me in my room?" He paused, looking extremely nervous. "Of course, that's just a silly suggestion. You wouldn't want to do that I'm su-"

Dean cut him off with a soft comforting kiss. "Of course we will. Sammy will be thrilled to see your house, and he'll love looking through all of your books." He smiled, even though he was terrified on the inside.

Dean was going to meet Castiel's family. _Dean was going to meet Castiel's family._

"Um.. can I have a beer?"


	10. Chapter 10

"There's a lot of things I need to fill you in on before they arrive." Cas explained in a panicked rush.

Sam and Dean had brought some things over the day before, and Cas's family would be arriving in a couple days, two days before Christmas. Sam had really perked up when told all of this and his mood had improved quite a bit, though he was still pretty upset. They were now sitting on Cas's couch while Cas paced in front of them, his hair sticking out in all directions from how many times he had ran his hand through it.

"Gabriel will be staying in the basement, and Michael is gonna stay on this floor in the spare bedroom down the hall. Gabriel and Michael don't get along at all due to several reasons... So we need to make sure they aren't left alone together for long periods of time. Raphael will be staying in a hotel, so will Anna and her husband. Gabriel loves to pick at people and play pranks. He'll say things to make you angry, especially if he knows it bothers you. Dean, that will very likely get to you." He glanced over at a second to see Dean grump and Sam snicker.  
"Anna's very kind, I believe you guys will like her. Raphael is strong and silent, but he does know how to converse. He will mostly want to talk to you, Sam, considering you are in law school. Michael is... judgmental. He takes after our uncle Zachariah, consider yourself lucky that you do not have to meet him." Castiel paused and grimaced, remembering old times.

"Oh, also, Raphael was adopted when he was a baby, so he does not share the same look as us." Cas added as an afterthought, continuing his pacing.

"Babe, chill. I'm sure it'll be fine." Dean stood up and wrapped his arms around Cas's waist lovingly. He nuzzled into his neck, ignoring the little sarcastic 'aww' from Sam.

"Seriously dude, I bet this won't be nearly as bad as you think." Sam said, smiling brightly.

Cas smiled halfheartedly, still clearly nervous.

Boy were they ever fucking wrong.

-

Anna arrived first with her husband, after stopping at their hotel to drop off their luggage.

Cas opened the door to let in a petite beautiful girl with long red hair and sparkly hazel-green eyes. Her face had the same kindness in it that Cas's did, and it made Dean smile. She raced up to Cas, wrapping him in a tight embrace before turning and doing the same to Dean.

"So you are the infamous Dean Winchester? Little Cassy here never stops talking about you." She smirked. Cas was blushing furiously and hiding his face.

"I told you, I'm not Cassy anymore." Dean was reminded of when Sam used to insist on no longer being Sammy and chuckled.

"Aww I think it's cute, _Cassy._" Dean whispered teasingly, making Cas blush deeper. As Anna was hugging Sam, Uriel walked in. Dean's mouth dropped slightly as he looked up at the man. He was a huge bulking black man that looked as if he could easily rip Dean in half. His face was hard and stony and he looked as if he was perpetually angry at the world. He reached out one giant hand and shook Dean's, smilingly brightly. His face was suddenly much softer with that smile, and Dean could easily see why Anna married him.

"So Dean, is Castiel driving ya crazy yet?" He laughed, a loud, deep chuckle, and grinned a toothy grin. He liked this guy.

"Oh hush Uriel." Cas grinned. "Uriel thinks he's sooo funny because he got voted 'Funniest Guy' in high school. I think he just went to a small school." Cas teased playfully.

It was nice seeing Cas this way. He was more laid back around Anna, panic subsiding, and had a teasing sarcastic manner to him.

That is, until the doorbell rang again. This time it was Michael and Raphael. Apparently they had carpooled from the airport to save some time. Raphael was also a rather large, strong-looking black man who looked like he could easily destroy Dean. Except he didn't have the soft happiness that Uriel did. He looked cold and numerical, like a well-trained soldier. He quietly walked in, nodded hello to Castiel, and went to join Anna, Uriel, and Sam in the living room.

Then Michael walked in. He looked around thirty-five, his face hard and stern-looking. His frame was skinny yet firm-looking, his hair was a dark, almost black brown and well-polished. He glanced over at Dean and back to Cas.

"Castiel. I see you are still..." he trailed off, his voice slightly mocking.

"Yes, Michael, I am still gay." Cas's face was stony now, eyes dark. His tone was emotionless.

Oh. _Oh!_ This is what Cas had meant when he said that Michael was judgmental. Dean can only imagine how hard Michael must have made Cas's childhood. He gritted his teeth angrily. Suddenly he very much wanted to hit Michael.

Michael looked Dean up and down in disapproval and with a sharp "Hm." walked into the living room.

"What a dick." Dean grumbled before wrapping Cas in a tight embrace. He stroked Cas's hair flat. "Don't worry Cas, I won't let anything hurt you anymore."

Cas's eyes brimmed with tears at that for some reason but he wiped them away quickly. "C'mon, we might as well go join them. Gabriel likes to be... 'fashionably late'." Cas chuckled slightly, a strained forced sound.

When they walked in, Anna was chatting politely with Michael, Uriel was playing with the dumb cat, and Raphael was in a conversation with Sam about law studies. Sam looked torn between enjoyment of discussing his major with a professional and discomfort.

Cas sat down on his large armchair and Dean snuggled up to him, throwing an "I dare you to say a single thing" kinda look at Michael, who continued to talk to Anna as if Cas didn't even exist.

It was an hour longer until Gabriel arrived, and Dean had not expected what would happen whatsoever.

The door could be heard banging open, followed by a sudden burst into the room. Gabriel had sandy hair that went nearly to his shoulders and a large forehead. His face was filled with boyish charm, joy, and he had mischievous hazel eyes. He had a sucker in his mouth and a couple more stashed in his front shirt pocket.

"Hello boys, didyja miss me?" He caught a glance of Sam, who was staring back dumbfoundedly, and winked. Much to Dean's surprise and frustration, Sam giggled and blushed, looking down quickly. What the hell was that about?

"Gabriel.." Michael growled in a defeated tone before turning away, attempting to initiate conversation with Raphael now.

"Hey there, Mikey boy, Raphael. It's been too short of time since our last meeting." He grinned cheerily and turned to Cas. "And Cassy! I believe you've yet to introduce me to your houseboy and this..." he turned to Sam "Lovely little piece of eye-candy you have over here." Sam blushed deeper, making Dean grimace.

"Hey! I'm not some houseboy okay?" Cas elbowed Dean gently and gave him a 'you are only doing what he wants you to do' kinda stare, but Dean was frustrated with everything happening. He already didn't like Gabriel too.

"Ooh Cas you better put a leash on him, he seems a little feisty." He winked again at Sam, taking the sucker out of his mouth with a 'pop' noise and licking it slowly before placing it back in. Dean growled. That's his brother he's fucking with.

Cas elbowed Dean harder, making him stay quiet.

"So, do I get to know names?" Gabriel inquired, his tone still light and joking.

"Gabriel, this 'houseboy' is Dean," Dean grumbled again making Cas chuckle. "And that one over there is Sam."

Gabriel eyed Sam like he was one of the suckers in his pocket. "Hey there Sammy boy, wanna sucker?" Dean waited for Sam to object at being called Sammy by someone else, but Sam just grinned.

"Sorry, I don't accept candy from strangers." he said teasingly. Dean gagged. Was Sam flirting with this guy? A _man_? And in front of Dean? Gross.

Gabriel grinned. "Oh, we won't be strangers for long." Dean was fuming at this, Anna, Cas and Uriel were laughing, and Michael and Raphael were pretending it wasn't happening, discussing law and medicine. Why in the Hell was nobody but Dean saying anything?!

Dean opened his mouth to protest but was interrupted by Cas. "Honey, will you help me in the kitchen?" Cas asked, pulling Dean towards the door leading to his kitchen despite Dean's spluttering interjections. He got one last glance of Gabriel slinking towards Sam before he was jerked around the corner.

"What the He-" but he was interrupted by a steamy kiss from Cas.

"You have to relax Dean. Sam is a big boy now, and he will do what he wants without your objections."

"But I've never even seen Sammy interested in another man. And nobody calls him Sammy but me!" Dean grumbled, sounding very much like a grumpy child.

"Dean, you're being really rather silly. Now shut up and kiss me." He kissed Dean again, this time with more fervor, grinding against him. He was getting out all of his nerves, Dean knew this and he let him.  
Dean went to grab his ass, and was met with a sudden jerk. Cas backed up quickly, pained panic in his suddenly wide eyes. He was staring at Dean, but not really. His eyes were glazed. It was like some weird flashback kinda thing from a movie. Dean touched his shoulder softly, and Cas jerked away again, tears welling up in his eyes. Dean was officially freaking out. He turned the corner and yelled out for the person whose name came to his mind first.

"Gabriel!" He called, attempting to make his voice seem light. He wasn't sure why he called for Gabriel, he had fully intended on calling for Anna, but it just seemed right.

Gabriel was still chuckling slightly. "What does the houseboy ne-" He stopped, seeing Cas, and rushed into the kitchen.

"Oh no. Oh no no no! I was hoping this wouldn't happen." He grimaced and wrapped his arms around Cas, ignoring his slight flinch, stroking his hair. Dean was greatly reminded of him and Sam. "Shhh Cassy, shhh it's okay." His face was soft yet sad.

Cas looked up, looking remarkably like a child. "G-Gabey? Gabey, is he done? Is Lucey okay"

"Yes Cassy he's done, it's done. You don't have to worry about it anymore. Shhhh it's all okay. Lucey's fine. You're fine. Nobody's gonna hit you anymore"

Castiel buried his face into Gabriel's shoulder and Gabe looked up at Dean, pain in his eyes. "I was afraid this would happen with Michael here. But I was really hoping he'd be too stuck on you. It's been so long since he got this way."

Understanding hit Dean like an angry flaming freight train. Michael and his "strict" methods of bring up his siblings, Lucifer leaving early, Gabriel hating Michael. His blood boiled, he wanted to destroy him.

"I know how you're feeling. But please don't. It will only cause more damage, and it would just destroy everything. He just needs a few moments, that's all. Why don't you go back into the living room? Tell them Cas is reprimanding me or something." He smiled gently, his face still looking mischievous even when he wasn't being so.

As Dean walked back into the living room, giving a fake chuckle as he lied that Cas was giving Gabriel a firm smack on the hand, he suddenly had a lot more respect for the little trickster. Maybe it'd be okay to let him and Sam rock the bed. Okay, ew. Not a good thing to think about, gross.

Dean chatted a bit with Anna and it wasn't long before Cas and Gabriel were joining them again. Gabriel was a lot like him, and that made Dean smile. He took care of Cas the way Dean took care of Sam, he knew how Dean felt.

Gabriel grinned at Dean before winking at Sam again. "Don't worry Sammy, he didn't change my mind." he smirked, tossing a cherry sucker at Sam, who caught it and plopped it in his mouth. Cas casually walked over to Dean, sitting close to him and squeezing his hand tightly.

"You okay?" Dean whispered quietly when no one was looking. Cas's eyes still held some fear but he nodded, smiling a crinkly smile.

Dean had never hated anyone more than he did Michael. He glanced over at him occasionally, analyzing his smug clean-shaven face, wanting more than anything to fuck it up. The evening was pretty okay overall, however. Sam and Gabriel sat by the fireplace, talking, getting a little bit too close in Dean's opinion. Raphael and Michael stayed in their own little world, quietly debating on the couch. Cas and Dean were talking with Anna and Uriel. Okay, Uriel was actually pretty damn funny, Dean had to admit. Anna was telling the best embarrassing stories of Cas as a child too. She recalled the time he had nearly caused a car crash while chasing a butterfly, scaring the nanny to death, or the time he had dressed up as a fairy for Halloween with Gabriel's persuasion. Dean found himself laughing harder than he had for a long time and was sad to see them go.

Raphael left soon as well, Michael automatically retiring to his room afterwards. Good. Dean was glad that asshole was making no attempt to speak to him. It would be a lot worse.

Now it was just the four of them (Cas, Dean, Gabriel, and Sammy, in case you are made with word problems). Cas was nuzzling into Dean, yawning tiredly while Sam and Gabriel kept chatting happily, giggling conspiratorially. It was almost cute, or maybe Dean was just really tired. He wasn't sure. Soon he retired to bed with Cas, holding him tightly and falling asleep together.

That night, Dean noticed that he was woken on several occasions to Cas thrashing and whimpering in his sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

It was the day before Christmas.

Cas woke up early, for the first time ever, and hurriedly got ready. They went down stairs so Cas could prepare a beautiful breakfast (he was one helluva chef) for his family. Dean felt so bad watching Cas stress over a family where he could barely tolerate half of them. He wanted to just hug him and never let go, protecting him in a cocoon of love.

Dean's thoughts were interrupted when Sam emerged from the hallway beside them. (But that wasn't the stair hallway? Where had he been?) Dean narrowed his eyes, watching him closely.

"Hey guys, Gabe said he'll be up in a minute." Sam muttered, not looking into Dean's eyes.

"Since when are you two on good enough terms to call him 'Gabe'? And how do you...?" Realization hit Dean like a fucking plane. "Oh _Hell_no, please tell me Cas hasn't woken me up yet and this is some freaky nightmare."

Cas was literally hunched over, one hand on the kitchen table, laughing so hard he was wheezing. Dean glared over at him before returning his gaze to Sam, bright green eyes flaming.

"I-it's not what you think! After you guys went to sleep, Gabe and I stayed up talking a little longer. We got onto literature, y'know he's actually really really smart, and he said that the basement had tons of books in it," Okay, that part checked out. Dean had seen the bookshelves on the tour. He was still very skeptical. "So, we went down there and we flipped through books and y'know... stuff." He finished lamely, a soft blush on his face.

Dean was about to ask him to define 'stuff' when Gabe pranced around the corner, planting a little kiss on Sam's cheek and winking at Dean playfully. "Hey there Sammykins, houseboy." He nodded at Dean. "Um, ya okay bro?" He chuckled at Cas, who was still trying to recover from his laughing fit, wiping his eyes.

"I am having a fantastic morning." Cas snickered, flipping the bacon on his big stove.

Dean quietly sat fuming, he didn't even notice when Michael silently entered, sitting as far away from Dean and Cas as possible, and ate his breakfast.

Gabriel left for an hour or two after breakfast, much to Dean's relief. Anna and Uriel weren't coming over, they wanted to do some sight-seeing while they were here. And Dean had no idea, nor did he care, where Raphael was. Probably sitting in his hotel room staring at the frikkin wall.

Sam soon left with the Impala, saying he needed to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Dean was really happy that he got all of his done so he could lounge around with Cas, who was spending a lot of time prepping for Christmas. When they had a moment alone in the kitchen, Dean softly stroked Cas's hair, holding him close until he wasn't so tense.

"You really gotta relax baby. Everything's gonna go just fine. I promise."

-

"Ow! Ow what the fuck?" Dean yelped, being suddenly awaken to a sharp jab in the stomach.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, was that too hard?" Cas was fully dressed in front of him, eyes wide, hair completely frazzled. He looked a little wild, it was cute. Dean glanced at the clock. It was 9am.

"Cas baby you gotta relax. I know for a fact that Anna and all them aren't even coming until noon. Now c'mere." He pulled Cas down on top of him and tickled him, making Cas squirm and giggle, before planting a long deep kiss on his lips. "Let's just lay her for a few minutes." Dean held one of Cas's hands in front of him, playing with the fingers. He did this a lot in the mornings they shared together, and it made him smile. He truly loved Cas's beautiful hands.

Cas looked down on him, eyes soft and shining blue, the morning light hitting him perfectly. He was really beautiful. "I love you." Dean whispered gently, mostly to himself. Cas's eyes went wide, his head tilting to the side in a classic Castiel Novak kinda way. He looked as if he was analyzing Dean's now-blushing face. It was kinda making Dean fidget, he had hoped for a better reaction.

Suddenly, he got it. Cas's face lit up in a big crinkly smile and he started to kiss Dean's face all over like an excited puppy. "I love you too, Dean. I love you very much."

Dean's heart dropped at that. Dropped, not in a good way, but he kept smiling. His brain was whirring, trying to process this. _He doesn't really love me. He's saying that because you did. You saw the hesitation in his eyes._ Had he? _Yes you had._ Yes. He must have.

He tightened his grip slightly on Cas before burying his doubt away in the little vault he was collecting his insecurities in. They rolled around a little more, tickling and giggling in between kisses like little children, before Dean finally had to get up and get ready. When they got downstairs, Michael was already quietly sitting in the living room, while Gabriel and Sam were nowhere to be seen. Dean grumbled. He really didn't like to think about them doing gross stuff in the basement with him only two floors away.

Cas was cooking french toast when Sam and Gabriel finally emerged, no doubt drawn by the smell of delicious food. Dean glared at Sam, who feigned innocence while shoving french toast in his mouth quickly.

"So, when do we get to open presents?" Sam asked, sounding very much like a young child. Sam and Dean had never really had a Christmas with an actual full family that they could remember, and this was going to be their first in many many years. Sam was clearly excited.

"As soon as the others arrive, we will begin passing out gifts. It should not be that long until they are here."

They had actually just finished eating when the others arrived, much to Sam's excitement. He ran into his room to get his gifts as everyone else gathered around the rather large tree in the corner of the living room. When Sam rejoined, it was decided that Anna would hand out her gifts first, then the other visiting siblings.

Cas got some pretty amazing stuff from his family, despite the weird relationship they all had. Anna gave him a free all-round trip to Hawaii for two, Gabriel got him a big box of assorted fine candies, Michael gave him a free trip to some fancy spa (he still totally hated Michael) and Raphael gave him a several first-editions of his favorite books. It was pretty crazy. Suddenly Dean was feeling a lot more inferior, and by the look on Sam's face, his brother was too, glancing at his gifts in a sad sorta way.

Anna apologized greatly for not getting Sam and Dean anything and they shrugged it off with a "It's cool, we didn't either. We didn't know each other." and she cheered up. She was an adorable girl.

Finally, it was Dean's turn to give out his gifts. He handed Sam a big box filled with games and a large set of drawing utilities. (Sam had taken up drawing, and he was honestly really good at it. He mostly sketched weird monsters and demons, making up little back stories and ways to defeat them, like with salt or iron.) Sam smiled brightly and hugged Dean closely. Now he had to give Cas his present. It was well-wrapped, probably the hardest Dean had ever tried to wrap something, and Cas smiled fondly at Dean, as if it were already perfect. Cas unwrapped it delicately,his long fingers moving quickly. When he opened it, a large crinkly smile crossed his face, and he squeezed Dean's hand tightly before holding up his gift: It was a beautiful small crystal statue of an angel.

"Dean, this is so thoughtful, I lo-"

"Hold on! That's not all I got you!" Dean exclaimed in a rush before running out of the room, much to Cas's confusion. Sam just grinned brightly. He knew exactly what the other gift was, had helped Dean get the courage to give it.

Dean jogged back to his seat, an acoustic guitar that he had stashed in Sam's room now in his hands.

"Cas.. I'm not sure if you remember, but on our first date, we went to our coffee place, and it was open mic night and you got up there and you sang.."

"Let It Be." Cas blushed, understanding hitting him.

"Well, I'm not nearly as good of a singer as you. But.. I wanted to return the favor. I was kinda hoping it'd be more private," He looked around at Cas's family. Sam was grinning like a dummy, Gabriel had his regular smirk and a sucker in his mouth, Anna was tearing up already, Uriel had a toothy smile, Michael look apathetic (fuck you Michael), and Raphael just looked... Well, he looked normal. Raphael doesn't really have emotions.

"Um.. well.. here we go." He strummed out the beginning and began belting out the song, locking eyes with his love, focusing only on them and the gorgeous blue they were. He saw Cas start to cry, and his heart broke a little, even though he knew the tears were from happiness. When he finished, Anna was crying along with Cas, and even Uriel's eyes were a little wet.

Cas took a few seconds to calm down, holding Dean tightly, getting his shoulder wet with tears. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." He whispered before pulling back and kissing Dean gently.

Cas then pulled out a gift and handed it to Dean. Dean tore it open with much less finesse than Cas had and ogled at an original Bon Jovi record, signed by the man himself. "Nuh uh" he mouthed before looking up at Cas, who was grinning now. "You little shit." Dean smirked, tickling Cas until he squealed. Gabriel cleared his throat, making the two men blush.

"If you all are done now, I believe it's Sammy's turn to take the floor." Gabriel turned to Sam and grinned. "Go on, Sammykins."

"Th-thanks Gabe." Sam said, tossing a gift towards Dean and Cas. Dean received some nice accessories for his car, much to his glee, and Cas received an old piece of literature that wasn't even IN his huge collection. Dean didn't even think that was possible. Finally, Sam sheepishly handed Gabriel a gift.

"Aww Sammy, for me? You shouldn't have." He smiled brightly, ripping open the package. "Oh Sammykins I love it!" It was an old-fashion box full of pranking material: itching powder, whoopee cushion, invisible ink, prank gum, a hand buzzer, and several other pranking commodities.

"I will treasure this forever." Gabriel grinned, passing a gift over to Sam. "I just happened to pick up a gift for you myself."

Sam smiled brightly and delicately opened the box, only to shut it immediately, his face turning a crimson red, eyes widening.

Gabe smirked. "Candy isn't the only thing I sell at my little shop."

"What the hell did you get my brother?" Dean glared at Gabriel.

"Relax houseboy, it's just a few.. edible garments, and a movie yours truly starred in."

Sam hid his face, his ears going even darker red as he clung to the box.

Just then, Michael spoke up, his voice calm and emotionless. "I suppose your entire family is made of fags then." he sneered at Dean.

Dean hopped up from his chair, getting right into Michael's face. He noticed that Michael was a couple inches taller than him, but didn't care. No one talks about Dean's family. "What the fuck did you just say to me?" He growled, eyes so dark they were nearly black.

Anna reached to try to grab Dean, but he jerked away from her. "Nobody touch me!"

"You heard me." Michael snarled.

"If you think I'm going to take you insulting my kin laying down, you are very much mistaken." Dean yelled, voice cracking in anger. He raised a fist and punched Michael in the face, sending the man stumbling back. Michael grimaced, feeling his jaw and bleeding lip, before rearing up and charging at Dean, tackling him. Dean could hear the rest of the family yelling, Sam and Cas screaming for Dean to stop, but he didn't care. His blood was on fire and he wasn't gonna take this anymore. His barriers were completely breaking.

They rolled around, punching and kicking and yanking at anything they could reach, Dean screaming obscenities at Michael, until Raphael and Uriel were finally able to hold them, Uriel grabbing Dean by the arms and Raphael gripping Michael around the waist.

"Easy now kid, easy now." Uriel attempted to calm Dean to no avail. Dean was shaking with pure anger, his eyes brimming with tears. Dean could feel blood running down from his lip and he was sure his eye would be blackened the next morning.

"NO! I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT MY FAMILY! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT, I'LL KILL YOU!" Dean screamed, kicking furiously at the air. Michael stood straight and rigid, panting heavily yet unrestrained, face red, several places bleeding and already bruised. Good.

Cas was standing by Sam, still clutching his little angel with white knuckles, eyes filled with fear, tears running freely down his face. That look would haunt Dean's dreams. "Dean, p-please calm down!"

"NO CAS I WON'T! I DON'T BELONG HERE! I NEVER WILL!" _You're way too good for me! And we all know it!_ He stopped kicking but was still struggling against his bonds. His voice lowered from a scream to a hoarse yell, now directed at Cas. "We aren't meant to be together Cas! Clearly, I can't even compare to you! We'll just end up hurting one another!" _There's no way you could love someone as unimportant and insignificant as me_. He finally managed to jerk free and started to walk away. "I'm done, we're done! I think it's best for us both if I just go!" _I'll leave you before you can leave me._ He stomped towards the door, blood still pumping in his ears, blocking out all other sounds.

He yanked his coat off the rack, knowing his keys were in the pocket, and slammed the door. He didn't look back.

He didn't want to see his beautiful broken angel.


	12. Chapter 12

Routine.

Routine was nice. It was reliable, the exact same. Wake up, _don't think of Cas_, drive Sammy to his classes, _don't think of Cas_, go to work at Bobby's or the Roadhouse, _don't think of Cas_, go home, _don't think of Cas_, drink until very drunk, _don't think of Cas_, pass out. Repeat. Then repeat again.

At first, Cas had tried to call. Dean's phone had rang several times in the first week, Dean ignoring all of them, until the calls stopped coming. And the silence was am empty pit in Dean's heart. But he pushed all of this back. He pushed it back with everything else that made him hurt.

He didn't talk to anyone. When Sam tried to discuss what had happened, Dean merely stomped to his room, locking the door behind him. Sam wasn't home a lot, and Dean was certain it was because of him. He just... didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything. He lost a lot of weight in the month following, growing a stubble that he only kept trimmed because Ellen calmly asked him to for work reasons.

He was ripping himself apart inside, desperately trying to convince himself that what he did was the right thing, that it would be better for both of them. He wished he could go back to how he was before, not needing anyone but Sammy, content with meaningless one-night-stands. But he knew he couldn't. He knew he'd always ache for Cas, for as long as he could breathe.

-

Sam was out at the library with Gabriel. He was stressed, his hair sticking out in several places where he had ran his hand through it over and over. Gabriel was rubbing his back lovingly, his head on Sam's shoulder.

"What do I do, Gabe?" Sam grimaced, flipping the page of a book he wasn't really reading.

"I think it may be time Sammy." Sam flinched.

"Yeah...

Intervention."

-

After Dean stormed out that night, there had been a lot of screaming. Cas finally broke down and called Michael out on everything he had done to him and his family, with support from Gabriel and even Anna. Raphael stayed silent, of course. Soon after this, they all left, except Gabriel and Sam. Sam, who had huddled in the corner through this entire thing. They stayed with Cas through his failed attempts at calling the man he loved more than life itself, through the panic attacks and the hyperventilating and the break-downs. Gabriel held him through the night, keeping him safe, and squeezed him close through his fitful nightmares.

Cas called him every day, never receiving an answer, for a week. Then he just stopped, he didn't know what else to do. He went to work like he was supposed to, and he could tell he was becoming one of those bland doctors. But he didn't care, and there was nothing he could do to change it. It was the only way he could keep from breaking down, which he did after he got home. He drank more than usual, which worried Gabriel a lot. Gabriel had decided to stay with him, leaving the duties of his store to a good friend of his named Balthazar. Sam stayed some nights too, which was comforting and painful at the same time, but Cas wouldn't let Sam know that.

One day, Cas sat down at his table and wrote a letter. He wrote it to the one man he knew may be able to help him, at least to understand.

_Dear Lucifer,_

Lucey, things are going real bad here. I.. I don't know what to do anymore. My life feels so sad and empty, and the only man I've ever truly loved has left me. I know it sounds.. pathetic. But, I really think he still loves me. I think he's afraid. I know I am.. How do I move on? How do I keep going?

Truly,  
Castiel

That was about a week ago. When he was sending it, he vaguely thought of what Dean would say. _That looks like a letter a girl writes to a magazine, Cas._ He had broken at this, laughing and crying hysterically for an hour much to Gabriel's horror.

Now he was sitting here, Sam and Gabriel were at the library He was watching Doctor Sexy, crying pitifully, wrapped in a blanket.

_Ding Dong_

Cas jumped up and ran to the door, a faint hope in his heart that it was the man he desperately wanted to see. He threw open the door and there stood a different man. He was a little taller than Cas with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, the exact same eyes as Cas's.

"L-Lucifer." Cas stared dumbfounded, his face still wet with tears.

Lucifer took in the sight before him. Castiel was scruffy, he had on a stained t-shirt and sweat pants that were way too big on him. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair a total train-wreck.

"Oh Cassy." Lucifer hurried in, taking Cas in his arms, who immediately started a new wave of crying.

"I don't know what to do Lucey! I feel like I've completely lost myself!"

"Shhh, shhh, I know Cassy, I know. And I've spent a lot of time thinking about what you sent me. I went through the same thing Dean is going through now when I started dating my wife Lilith. I thought she was way too good for me and panicked. I think he's going to realize that he made a mistake, and I think he's going to come back to you. The only question is, will you take him back?"

Cas paused his crying, sniffling pathetically. "I.. I don't know. He hurt me so bad Lucey, I'm not sure I can take that back. What if he did it again?"

"Well that's up to you Cassy, nobody can tell you what your heart feels."

Lucifer followed Cas into the living room, raising his eyebrows at the empty tubs of ice cream littering the table and the ridiculous soap opera on tv. "Umm..."

Castiel frowned and sat back on the couch, swathing himself in blankets. "I know, I'm just a mess."

"Shh no you're not. You're just lost. It's okay Cassy, I'm here." And he was.

He stayed all that day, talking to Castiel, and Gabriel when he got home. Gabriel looked like he was hiding something, but Cas wasn't wanting to dwell on that. When Lucifer finally left, Cas was feeling a bit better.

-

Dean was working at the auto shop when Bobby pulled him aside.

"Listen here, Dean. Ya aren't actin' like yerself anymore, and I think it's about time I let you boys in on somethin' I've been neglectin' to tell ya. I'm hopin' it'll help ya realize yer dumb mistake."

Dean sighed. "Bobby, we've talked about this..."

"Shut up and bring Sam over later today, ya idjit." Bobby walked away, leaving it at that.

So that's why he was at Bobby's door, with a very bemused Sam. Dean was getting scruffy again, and his eyes had dark lids under them from lack of real sleep. Bobby opened the door, looking extremely nervous.

"Um Bobby, are you okay?" Sammy inquired, worry in his face.

"Well, there's someone I want ya ta meet." Bobby stepped aside, revealing a short stalky man with black hair and greenish eyes. He was balding slightly and was wearing a suit for some reason. He looked really clean cut.

"Hello boys." he grinned. He had a British accent.

Bobby walked up to the man and stood close to him. "Boys, this here is Fergus Crowley."

"Please, call me Crowley." If Dean wasn't so emotionless, he'd probably really like that accent, though he seemed a little pompous.

"Boys, I'm... I'm gay." Bobby took Crowley's hand, looking extremely nervous.

Dean's jaw dropped. What? But.. What about..

"I don't understand. What about Sheriff?" Sam spoke up, voicing Dean's thoughts, surprise clear in his voice.

"Oh.. she's just a friend. She's known about this fer a long time." He chuckled slightly.

"Um.. I.. um.. Wow." Dean spluttered. _I suppose your entire family is made of fags then._ Michael's words rang in his mind and he flinched, a wave of nausea hitting him.

"So, now ya know..." Bobby squirmed, Crowley giggling quietly. He had a deep voice.

"This was.. unexpected." Sam grinned. "It's a pleasure to meet you Crowley. Welcome to the family.  
So let's have lunch then, shall we?"

Relief spread on Bobby's face, and the ice was broken. They spent the day talking, getting to know Crowley and telling super embarrassing stories about Bobby and their many silly adventures. Crowley was actually an important owner of a major business corporation, which explained his suit. He had just come from a meeting or something. He also had a very big dog the he was very proud of. Dean laughed and smiled, but he was still hollow inside. Being around this happiness made him feel as if he was suffocating, it was awful.

When they left, Dean went straight to his room after grabbing a beer, curling up in a ball and putting on his Bon Jovi album. It's the only thing that gave him comfort but broke his heart at the same time. He was happy for Bobby, he really was. He wasn't some asshole who didn't want anyone to be happy at all. But it hurt so bad, he didn't know if he would ever recover.

-

The next day he didn't have to work. He got up early, silently got dressed, and left while Sam was still sound asleep.

He drove, drove for a long time, with one destination in mind. It was a couple hours away, the place he planned to go, but he needed to go there. He drove down the long gravel drive, worrying slightly about his car but disregarding the thought immediately. He really needed to do this.

He trekked up the big hill, panting at the top, until he finally reached the place.

"Hey mom. Hey dad." Dean whispered, kneeling down in front of the headstones. "It's been a long time, huh?" He smiled a sad smile. "I need to talk to you guys." A soft morning breeze blew across his face, like a gentle touch. He leaned into the breeze, closing his eyes.  
"I'm in trouble, Mom. I don't know what to do anymore. I think I made a mistake, and I'm not sure I can fix it. I may have lost someone very important to me. I... I don't..." he put his hand in his face, breaking down in tears, his shoulders shaking heavily.

"What do I do? Please tell me what to do! I need you so much." He paused, unable to speak, crying into his hands. "I miss you. Sam misses you."

"Sometimes I still hear him cry. Oh Mom, you would have loved him. He's so smart. He's gonna be so big and important and he's funny. His eyes look more and more like yours every day, especially when he's happy. You guys would have loved Cas too. He's so perfect, so lovely. I... I love him so much." He sobbed for a long while. When he finally calmed down, he just talked. He told them about how Sammy was, all about Gabriel, and how he wasn't too fond of the guy, but he seemed to really make Sam happy. He told them about Bobby, chuckling at how he thought John would react about Crowley. He told them of all his times with Cas, waking up to his cute grumpiness, watching him dance to the music, kissing him, cuddling him, and the sound he made when Dean tickled him. He told them about Christmas and what he had done. He expressed all of his doubts and fears and nightmares. He talked until he couldn't talk anymore, and then he just sat there, feeling the soft breeze, thinking about times with his family, when they were still a full family.

He got back home around 4pm, emotionally exhausted and ready to drown himself in alcohol.

He unlocked the door wearily to find Bobby, Sam, and Gabriel sitting in the living room. They all looked up at the sound of the door opening and Sam opened his mouth.

"We need to talk Dean."


	13. Chapter 13

"Oh you've gotta be frikkin kidding me. Is this an intervention?!" Dean stomped angrily.

Sam got up and gingerly placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. His voice was soft and understanding. "Dean, think of it as a group of your family that wants to help you. Ellen wanted to come, but she couldn't get out an important meeting about the bar today."

Dean sighed. He was so tired after today, he couldn't even fight. He just threw himself down into his special chair and glared at them. "Let's just get this over with."

"Dean... you need to go talk to Cas."

"Sam, you know I-"

Bobby interrupted him. "Ya need ta get that boy back immediately." His voice was stern, he was in father mode.

"What I did was for the best. He'll be a lot better off without me." He knew his own voice had doubt in it, but he tried to appear confident in his decision.

"You know that's complete crap, right?" Gabriel spoke up, his voice full of skepticism. "I know my brother, and I know for a fact that he loves you to death. He's a mess, dude. You're a mess too. And the only way you two work is when you're together. So stop being such an asshole; that's my job." He winked over at Sam and Sam spluttered slightly.

"H-he's a mess?" Dean's eyes lit up slightly, a spark of hope lighting in him.

"Yes, you little twat. Now you need to get your ass down there and get him back." Gabriel snapped.

"I-i can't. I don't deserve him."

"Well duh, but the guy loves you. And he loves you more than anything in this world. He loves you FOR you, which I don't understand at all, but for some reason he really does." Gabriel looked slightly frustrated that Dean couldn't grasp this simple idea.

"I wasn't myself! I wasn't even here for you, Sammy when you got dumped by Jessica. You were so tore up, and I wasn't even there to help you."

Gabriel shot a glance at Sam, who blushed in embarrassment. "D-dean that's stupid! You didn't know, and if I had called you, I know for a fact that you would have rushed home immediately, no matter what you were doing. You can't hold on to that Dean, I've clearly moved on." He reached over and squeezed Gabriel's hand, who smirked.

"Dean, the bottom line is that ya need ta be with this man, and we all know it. Even you do. He definitely does." Bobby spoke up, staring intently at Dean.

Dean knew they were right, there was no pretending. He'd been trying to pretend he didn't make a mistake for a while now, living in a world of doubt and nightmares. "But.. how do I do it? He's not gonna want to take me back.. Not after what I did."

"Dude, he will take you back. I mean, you're gonna have to work at it, of course, but you guys are made for each other." Sam smiled warmly, happy that they finally gotten through to him.

"I-i'll try. But tomorrow. I'm just... too tired to do this today, and I need time to think."

"Okay, Dean. We'll leave you alone." Sam grabbed Gabriel's hand and drug him into his room.

"Ya, I gotta get back ta tha shop anyways." Bobby mumbled. On his way past Dean, he slapped a hand against him back. "You go get yer boy Dean." He smiled a gruff little smile and left.

Dean sighed, happy but very stressed, and went to his room, passing out immediately.

-

Sam smiled, spirits lifted. "Do you think Cas will take him back?"

"I think it'll work out fine, Sammyboy." Gabriel smirked, wrapping his arms around Sam's waist and nipping at his neck, making Sam moan gently.

"G-gabe-"

"Shh Sammy, you're stressed. Let me..." He reached down, rubbing Sam's growing bulge. "Help _relieve_ you." His tone was light and teasing, but was getting a little husky with lust.

Sam growled and grabbed Gabriel's ass, grinding against him, feeling Gabriel's erection through his pants. "Take me, pizza boy."

Gabriel snickered, pushing Sam onto the bed. "Oh so you _did_ watch the video. Sammy, you naughty boy." He undressed Sam completely, kissing Sam's skin as he went. "Now get the thing." he whispered. Sam groaned gently and reached under the bed while Gabriel removed his own clothes. Sam fumbled with the box he got for Christmas and removed a pack of candy panties from it. He blushed deeply as he took one out and gingerly put it on.

"Sweet as candy." Gabriel smirked, staring at Sam's body, memorizing every inch of it, kissing his biceps, his chest, his stomach, every part of him that he could reach in sloppy needy kisses. Sam grabbed Gabriel's hair, bringing his face back up, kissing and biting on Gabriel's soft, sweet lips.

"If you insist on me wearing this, you better do something about it." Sam whispered.

"Well, you know I can never resist a sweet treat." Gabriel nipped at Sam's neck, kissing down, biting and sucking on Sam's nipples as the man under him mewled in pleasure. Gabriel nibbled on one of the candies on the thin edible panties, breath heavy. This is what he loved, his three favorite things mixed together: Sex, candy, and his Sammy. _His Sammy._ And he knew Sam wasn't dumb enough to make the same mistakes as his brother.

He kept eating on the panties, purposely ignoring Sam's throbbing bulge, until Sam was moaning in frustration and pleasure. "Gabe.. p-please." He whimpered. Gabriel loved that needy tone. It made his erection pulse.

Gabriel ripped through the panties with his teeth, hearing a quiet *snap* as the bond broke. "Now how can I say no to that?" He grinned, his voice thick with lust as he bit Sam's thigh roughly.

Sam reached into the still-open box and pulled out some cherry-flavored lube. He remembered opening the box on Christmas and panicking. He laughed inwardly as he tossed the bottle at Gabriel, who was idly munching on the panties.

"Turn around and bend that sweet little ass over, Sammykins." Gabriel smiled, his eyes dark. Sam did as he was told, shaking his ass at Gabe, presenting himself to his lover. Gabriel lunged forward, a growl coming from the back at his throat, and bit Sam's ass playfully, making Sam yelp.

"Owch!" Sam gasped, digging his nails into the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry Sammy baby, let me kiss it better." He planted a soft kiss on the red mark forming on Sam's ass cheek. He squirted a bit of lube on Sam's opening, the cold liquid making a shudder go up Sam's spine. Gabriel pressed his lips to Sam's hole before licking slowly. Sam moaned, knees shaking slightly. "Mmm. Sweet to the core."

"Y'know if you weren't so cute," Sam huffed out breathlessly, "I'd probably get real sick of your candy puns."

"Oh c'mon, you know you love them." Gabriel grinned, gently inserting his tongue into Sam's opening, being rewarded with a loud gasp. Sam didn't reply to Gabriel, he wasn't sure he could with the waves of pleasure going through him as his partner explored him with his tongue.

"G-gabe... Please.. j-just.."

"Just what, Sammy? You gotta use your big words." He snickered, sticking his tongue deep into Sam, flicking it around.

"F-fuck me!" Sam choked out, arms shaking.

Gabriel sat up then, grinning. He squeezed the lube onto his fingers, making sure they were nice and wet. He slid one into Sam, moving in and out quickly. "Oh so eager, we have a few things to do before then, my little lollipop." Sam groaned, his head down between his shoulders, sweat already forming on his forehead.

Gabriel stuck another finger in, scissoring and fingering as he reached around with his other hand to rub Sam's throbbing member. Sam mewled and moaned Gabe's name, fingers digging into the bed hard.

"P-please." Sam growled out, making Gabriel shudder. He loved when Sam got this way. Finally, he pulled his fingers out. Sam whimpered, immediately missing the touch. He pressed his ass a little closer and Gabriel chuckled at his younger partner's need. He lubed up his erection, sighing softly at the feel of his own hand against his neglected member.

He rubbed the head against Sam's opening, teasing playfully. Sam groaned and pressed his ass harder against it, begging for Gabriel to enter.

"Well, if you insist." Gabriel groaned, slowly entering Sam. It felt so good, better than eating his favorite chocolates. Sam was tight and hot and needy and Gabriel loved it. He rocked in and out slowly at first before suddenly speeding up, slamming into Sam and hitting his special spot, making Sam cry out and bury his face into the pillow. Gabriel gripped Sam's hips, digging his nails in slightly, and thrust into him hard and unforgiving, biting at the small of Sam's back. Sam grunted, pushing back with Gabriel's thrusts as Gabe reached around and began jerking Sam off quick and rough.

Gabriel pushed Sam's ass down a bit so he could thrust deeper, making Sam whimper and yell out in pleasure.

"I... I'm close," Sam yelped, grabbing the bed so hard his knuckles were white.

"That's right Sammy, let go." Gabriel cooed, rubbing Sam harder until he felt the young man tense as he came, cum splattering on his own stomach and running down Gabriel's hand.

Gabriel felt Sam's ass clench as he came, and that's all he needed to throw him over the edge. He thrust harder into Sam as he orgasmed, Sam shaking and whining below him.

He pulled out and rested his head on Sam's back, panting heavily. "Have I mentioned how much I love you?" He smiled as he collapsed beside Sam.

Sam chuckled and brushed the hair out of Gabriel's face. "Only all the time."

Gabriel cuddled up to Sam. As he was drifting off to sleep, he heard Sam whisper.

"I love you too."

-

Dean woke up with frightful determination and absolutely no plan.

He had tried to think about what to say, but each scenario became more and more like "The Notebook" until he finally gave up thinking.

It was early, and Cas would be getting to work soon, so Dean was waiting on the street he knew he had to walk down to get to the hospital.

There he was, shoulders slumped, more stubble than usual. He looked like a mess, and Dean's heart broke. It was all his fault.

He ran across the street, jogging to catch up to Cas.

"Cas!" He yelled out, making the man in front of him jump. Cas turned around and his eyes widened with shock.

"D-Dean?"

-

A few blocks away, an old woman was returning from an early bird special. Her husband had just died a week ago, and her entire world was shattered. All she had was her routine, the same breakfast special her and her husband had went to every day. She knew these things happened when you were as old as her, it was inevitable. Heck, she would probably be joining him soon. She smiled softly.

She was driving too slow, of course. Cars occasionally beeped behind her in irritation, but she shrugged it off. She was approaching 90, she wasn't gonna be a daredevil. Damn kids.

Her glasses were thick, her eyesight poor; even more poor than her hearing, and that was pretty bad. She was fumbling with an earring that had come unclipped when she dropped it. She grumbled and reached a wrinkled hand down in an attempt to grab it from the floor.

-

"Cas, I made a terrible mistake! I love you, and I need to be with you. We belong together, please take me back!" Okay, that was pretty generic, and he hated himself for being all sappy, but it was necessary.

Cas was stunned, his eyes glazed and teary. He hadn't expected this, he had expected another emotionless day at work and a minor breakdown when he arrived home to his cat.

"Dean... Dean!" he was suddenly filled with anger, staring at the man's pleading face in front of him. "Dean I put everything into you! I put my trust and my fears and my hopes into you! And you just threw it away! I tried to call you! I tried everything, I needed you so badly and you weren't there! You broke me Dean, you completely shattered me!"

"I know I did Cas, but I will never do that again, I swear! I want to spend our lives trying to make that up to you, I want to spend every second loving you and taking care of you! Cas, please let me!" Dean's voice was breaking, his eyes spilling over with tears.

"I... I don't know if I can do that Dean." Cas's face looked defeated, and he was about to turn away. Dean couldn't let him do that.

Just then, he saw a car turn around the corner. It was going significantly slower than the others and looked as if an old woman was driving it.

He had a slim chance, right? Slim was good enough for him.

"Cas." He said firmly, making the man turn back around towards him, his eyes weary and full of pain.

Dean jumped in front of the car, getting hit full-on.

There was pain; pure, agonizing pain. He think he even heard screaming. His maybe?

And then the world went black for Dean Winchester.


	14. Chapter 14

_Dean was laying down in a huge bed. He was comfy, it was nice. He rolled over and felt the presence of another person. He opened one eye, squinting at the soft morning light and saw a man laying beside him with raven hair and a stubbly face. He looked like a sweet sleeping angel. Dean smiled and poked the man in the face._

"Cas baby, wake up. We're going to hang out with Sam and Bobby today."

The man grumbled and turned away from Dean, pulling the covers over his head in protest.

Dean chuckled and layed on top of the hidden man, tickling his sides until the mass of covers giggled and squealed. "Dean stooooppp." Cas whined. "It's too early, I wanna sleep." The older man popped his head out from under the covers, his bright blue eyes piercing through Dean's very soul.

"You are so gorgeous. Ugh I love you so much!" Dean muttered, nuzzling his face into Cas's neck. He could feel Cas smiling wide.

"I love you too Dean

Wake up."

-

Dean raised his head in confusion. What did he just say?

But he wasn't in Cas's bed anymore. Colors were distorting, and for a second he was just floating in blackness.

Suddenly he was in Bobby's house. He wasn't sure, had he been here all along? He had to have been, right? Yes.

Bobby grabbed a beer and tossed it to Sam, who looked as if he was a year or two younger than Dean had last remembered. Is that even possible?

"You deserve this kid, we're so proud of ya! Yer going to college!" Bobby was beaming at Sam, who had a very goofy smile on his face. "Aren't we proud, Dean?"

Dean found himself smiling and he nodded. "Of course Bobby, it's about time someone in this family got a college education. You're doing amazing Sammy."

"Aww you guys, you're killin' me here." Sam's face was flushed red with embarrassment. "I couldn't have done it without you guys."

"Oh, did you get the licorice for the movie?" Dean asked, searching the snacks on the table.

"Dude, licorice is disgusting. I got popcorn, like a normal person." Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"What?! Licorice is a prime movie treat, it's up there with popcorn."

"Dude, you are crazy, nobody likes licorice."

"Bobby, back me up here." Dean glared at Bobby jokingly, who was watching the entire scene with amusement.

"Dean, even Bobby knows that licorice sucks.  
And you need to wake up, okay?"

Wake up? Why did that sound familiar? He opened his mouth to question but suddenly everything was melting away.

-

He was standing outside an old house, his old house, right? Yes, he was at his old house, he had been here for a while.

"Dean, now that you're sixteen, I think it's time that I gave you the Impala. Of course, I'll still need to use it for work, but she's officially yours now. You take good care of her, okay?" John was scruffy and tired-looking. He was clearly hung-over, but sober for the moment. These times were rare, and even if John was grumpy, Dean still loved them.

"Are you serious? She's mine? That's amazing Dad! I won't let you down, I swear! I'll take great care of her!" He patted the front of the car lovingly.

"That's good Dean, there's just one thing you gotta do.  
Wake up now, c'mon."

"I... what?" Dean's mind got all fuzzy, and suddenly they were in a dark room.

-

Sam was cowered behind him, crying, barely over the age of six or seven. Dean was protecting him, standing over him with his back to him, staring down a very drunk John.

"Move your ass, Dean. It's his turn." John growled, an empty bottle in his hand.

"No! I won't let you!" Dean could hear a car drive by outside, but the windows only showed blackness. Had they always been here? They must have.

"Dean, move or else!" Dean stood firm, not twitching a single muscle, Sam cowering behind him.

"Fine, you asked for it!" John pulled back his hand and smacked Dean hard across his face. Dean's head flew to the side and he heard Sam scream.

Dean straightened his head again, in pain but refusing to let up. He glared at John again. "It's okay Sammy, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

John roared in anger and began smacking Dean over and over, not letting up. Sam was screaming behind him, crying hysterically. Dean fell to his knees but remained in front of Sam.

"If you wanna be hit so bad, then I'll just have to get my belt!" John dropped the empty bottle onto the carpet with a dull thud and removed his belt.

"Run Sammy. Run into your room, lock the door, and no matter what you hear, don't come out." Dean commanded Sam. Sam hesitated, but did as he was told. John didn't chase after him. He was completely focused on Dean now. Well, as focused as he could be in this state. He pulled back his belt as if it were a whip and growled at Dean.

"You better wake up."

-

The scene distorted, bright flashes were in front of Dean's eyes. How did he get here? It was all a blur.

He was standing in a field, beside him was Sam. Sam's eyes were wide in wonder, and he looked like he was around six, not much younger than... than what? A past memory? No that doesn't make sense. He's been in this field for over an hour, right?

They were lighting fireworks that Dean had gotten from a friend at school in this big empty field. It was Sam's first real 4th of July, and Dean had gotten the best of the best for him. Sam was giggling and holding Dean's hand. "This is the best day ever Dean!"

Their dad had been gone for several days, so Dean wanted to do something special for Sam. The fireworks burst above them and Sam ran off to dance around happily.

Dean smiled, these were the moments he lived for, seeing Sam like a normal child, his innocence surrounding him. It was like he was before Mom died, and he wanted Sam to have as many of these moments as he could.

"Dean, Dean! Come dance with me!

Dean!

Dean!

DEAN!"

Suddenly Sam's face was filled with terrible fear and sadness. Dean was scared by this, and started to run towards him, but he was running through nothing.

-

Then he was in a bed, cuddling a blanket. Hadn't he just been running...? No that's not possible, he was in his comfy race car bed. The door creaked open, and in walked his mom.

"Mommy!" Dean yelled excitedly, clutching at the air. He was so excited to see her, he had been so scared. For some reason, he felt this extreme pain in his heart, like he missed her for many years. But he had just seen her a few minutes ago, right?

"Aww, look at you Deany! I love your new pajamas!" She tickled him and he squirmed and giggled, kicking his feet in the air.

"Mommy dooooon't!" He squealed playfully. "Mommy..." he whispered like he had a secret. "Mommy, I think thewe's a monster under the bed."

Mary's face was one of mock seriousness. "Oh no! This could be very bad! I guess I'll have to investigate." She began to duck under but Dean grabbed at her shirt with his tiny fingers. Her stomach was big and Dean was told that it was because there's a baby in it.

"No Mommy, no! The monstew might get you and my baby bwother!" His eyes were wide and Mary smiled slightly.

"Don't worry, Dean, I've got special monster-hunting skills!" She teased and bent down under the bed,staying there for a a couple minutes. Dean was starting to get a bit nervous. What if there really was a monster that got her?

"Oh no! The monster's got me! Get away, you big scary monster!" Mary yelled in mock fear.

Dean sat up, ready to get up and fight, but then Mary popped back up.

"Phew, I got him! I narrowly escaped, but you're safe!" She smiled warmly, the kind of smile only a mom can do.

Dean sighed in relief. "You scarwed me Mommy."

"Aww Dean, there's nothing to be afraid of,

you just need to wake up. Wake up for Mommy."

Then everything went black.

-

Pain.

All Dean could feel was pain.

It was dull in some places, and very sharp in others, but there was no part of him that didn't hurt.

It was like he had got hit by a- Oh. Memories suddenly rushed back into him.

Christmas, nightmares, visiting his parents, the intervention, the attempt to get Cas back, then jumping. Then there had been blackness. Lots of empty blackness.

He was suddenly aware that he wasn't just a mass of pain. No, he had a body. And it was on something. Soft, yet firm. Was it a... bed? Yes, a bed. The room he was in was bright, his eyelids had that orangish tint to them. He should probably open those, but he needed a second to adjust. He could hear a faint beeping noise and the sound of breathing. More than one person, maybe.

Okay, he was probably in a hospital. That was reasonable, he was just hit by a car after all.

He opened his eyes slowly, squinting slightly. His vision was kinda blurry, but he saw the outline of a man sitting in front of him. The man snapped to attention.

"Dean? Dean!"

Dean tried to reach out, but his arms wouldn't work right. "C-Cas?" Dean's voice was weak and crackly. He was suddenly very thirsty. His vision began to focus.

Okay, this was not Cas. It was Sam. "Sammy!" Dean yelped. Holy hell, everything hurt.

His eyes wandered around the room. Everything was white. There were tons of machines around him, all making either quiet humming noises or beeping. He had needles in him (gross) and he thought he was wearing a breathing thing, whatever doctors call them. Apper-something.

"Ugh, my head hurts. Hell, Sam, my everything hurts." Sam's eyes were wide with fear and brimming with tears. He had stubble and looked as if he hadn't slept in days.

"Jeeze Sam, you look like crap. How did that happen? I just saw you last night."

Sam looked surprised at this, a few tears running down his face.

"Dean, you've been in a coma for a week."


	15. Chapter 15

Dean's eyes widened in horror, he tried to sit up but immediately fell back in a spasm of pain.

_Dean, you've been in a coma for a week_

"No no no, that's not possible! I just saw you yesterday! And.. and you were telling me to go get Cas, and it was some kinda weird intervention. It was just yesterday Sam!"

"Dean, calm down okay?" Sam's eyes were soft, and they had truth in them. "Dean, after you jumped in front of that car, which was fucking stupid by the way; I told you to get him back not kill yourself! Anyways, after you jumped in front of that car, Cas immediately took you into the hospital. You were really messed up. Cas was able to fix you up to the best of his abilities, but you just wouldn't wake up." Sam's voice was choked, like he was trying not to cry. "We.. we thought you might never wake up." Sam put his head down and Dean felt a stab of guilt.

"Sammy.. I'm so sorry. I didn't.. I don't know what I was thinking." He felt really ashamed, and he wanted to express how sorry he was that he could put Sam through that worry. He laid his head down and looked at the table beside him. There were flowers and balloons, a picture of Sam and Dean as children... and a crystal angel. A tear went down Dean's cheek.

"Wait, what about money?! How are we gonna pay the bills? Where are we gonna live?" Dean was panicking again. He may have fucked up worse than he even thought was possible.

"Relax, Dean. I've been living in Cas's basement with Gabe for the past week, and Cas said that... if you ever woke up.. you were welcome to stay in his spare bedroom."

Wait, Cas would actually let him stay? So there was hope after all, maybe!

Now that that was settled, Dean relaxed a bit. Actually a lot, holy Hell. "Dude, what kinda drugs am I on?" Dean's head was getting a bit fuzzy.

"Umm.. a lot. And strong ones. You're pretty messed up. Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean grinned and looked out the door. A gorgeous man in a doctor's coat walked by, staring at a clip board. The man glanced in instinctively and kept walking, only to backpedal moments later, eyes wide in shock.

"D-Dean! You're awake!"

"Hi Cassy baby." Dean smiled like a goofball, his glazed eyes focusing on Cas's face. He looked tired like Sam, as if he hadn't slept in a week. His face was shaven, but poorly, as if he had only done it because job demanded it.

"I'm just gonna... go get some food from the cafeteria." Sam mumbled, hurrying out of the room and closing the door quietly behind him.

"Cas, it's so nice to see you-"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Cas screamed, face red with rage. Dean stared dumbfounded as Cas marched up to him. His brain was too drugged to take in the sudden mood change.

"You jumped in front of a MOVING CAR! You were DEAD for three minutes!"

"Yeah but I came back to life."

"You almost didn't!"

"I knew you could save me." Dean smiled warmly and winked at Cas, who was spluttering and huffing in front of him.

"You're a fucking idiot Dean Winchester."

"An idiot in loooooove." Dean cooed playfully, making Cas growl in irritation.

"You're hopeless."

"Hopelessly in looooooove."

"Will you STOP THAT?!" Cas yelled, staring daggers at Dean, who only smiled brighter.

Cas puffed out angrily and he hugged Dean suddenly, whispering in his ear "I was so afraid I was going to lose you."

Dean smiled softly. "You will never lose me Cas. Never ever. I'm stuck on you, Cassy."

Cas chuckled slightly. "I'm still super pissed at you though."

"So what's the damage, Doctor Novak?"

Cas sighed, clearly pained. Just looking at Dean made his heart crumble. "Well, you broke a couple ribs _again_, dislocated your right shoulder, broke your left hand, knocked out one of your back teeth, gave yourself a major concussion, broke your left leg, punctured a lung, and bruised yourself in many areas."

"Whoo, I'm a pretty big wreck right now, huh?" Dean snickered. He should seriously be bothered by all of this, but he couldn't get himself to care.

"You are more than that. Also, I must admit it's rather entertaining to see you acting so goofy." Cas raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly.

"I guess I deserve all this, don't I?" Dean sighed, looking down at his body, covered in wrap and bruises.

Cas sighed again, sitting down beside Dean, grabbing his right hand gently. "Dean.. you don't deserve this. And I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know.. I know why you did what you did. I just can't have you do that to me again. You ripped me apart." His eyes teared up, and Dean just wanted to hold him close.

"Cas, I swear to you that it will never happen again. I only want to be with you, forever and ever. Cas, I want to marry you and live a happy long life with you and be really goofy and wake up to your grumpy ass every morning. I just... I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I will spend the rest of it trying to prove how much you mean to me."

Cas's face was blank for a little while, and they just sat there. "Is that your way of proposing? Because it is very impromptu." Dean's eyes widened in shock until he saw that Cas was giggling.

"You are such a little ass. Now c'mere and kiss me 'til I'm better." Cas leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean's softly, his tongue gently tracing Dean's mouth, before pulling away.

"You realize that I am at work, correct? And I must check on an elderly man in the other room."

Dean whined. "Noooooo Cassyyyyyy!" Cas chuckled and kissed Dean on the forehead.

"I promise, I'll spend the night here tonight. I have been for the past week anyways."

The thought of Cas sitting by his comatose body, pleading for him to wake up, made Dean's heart break.

"I'm so sorry." Dean whispered. Cas smiled and squeezed Dean's hand one last time before gracefully leaving, appearing in much higher spirits than before. Dean could hear him cheerily greeting the other patient in the next room.

"All right, Mr. Sheppard what seems to be the problem today?" then his voice was gone as the door closed behind him. Dean smiled brightly before settling down for a nap.

He was visited by several people that day, apparently Sam had called everyone. Bobby stopped by first with his boyfriend Crowley, the word "idjit" being used quite a few times.

Then Ellen and Jo came in, teasing about how all the ladies were missing him at the bar. It was nice, having them around.

Heck, even a few of the mechanics dropped by. Sam stayed all day. Apparently he had taken a week off his studies, much to Dean's disapproval. "Oh shut up, I've got straight A's. I can easily catch back up." Sam had argued. "Besides, it's your own stupid fault."

Dean couldn't really argue that, and he was sure that he wouldn't hear the end of this for as long as he lived.

Sam left in the evening to go spend the night with Gabriel (gross) and Cas came in soon after.

It was so lovely having Cas with him again. He had missed Cas's honeysuckle scent and the way he snorted when he laughed too hard. Dean told him all about everything Cas had missed, which wasn't much, considering Dean had spent most of it in his room. Cas was really surprised to hear about Bobby though, and they had giggled about it for a while like children with a secret. They stayed up for quite a while, until Cas began to doze off. He rested his head on Dean's chest gently. It hurt Dean a little bit, but it was worth it. He stroked Cas's hair, analyzing his face. He truly was beautiful, and Dean was never going to let him go again. Cas's worry lines disappeared when he was sleeping, and he really looked like an angel. Dean supposed that was the one thing his parents got right.

-

A little while later (too long, in Dean's opinion), he was able to go home. Well, to his new home. Sam had already moved everything from their apartment, and it was officially no longer theirs. This saddened Dean, but he perked up a lot when he saw his old chair in Cas's living room. He was in a wheelchair for a while, and it was extremely frustrating. Occasionally, he could get away with limping to the kitchen, but only if Cas or Sam wasn't home. If they were, they would fuss over him until he sat back down. He was really starting to like Gabriel. Gabriel wasn't all fussy over him, he just let him do whatever, occasionally jokingly mimicking Cas's worried voice. That was pretty damn funny, he had to admit.

He was sleeping in the guest bedroom, which was frustrating. It was mostly because Cas didn't want to hurt him in the middle of the night, but Dean also suspected he was still a little afraid to let Dean back in. He needed to do something about that.

A couple weeks passed and Dean was getting antsy. He was home with Gabriel, and he had things he wanted to do! Gabriel was in the kitchen eating ice cream. Seriously, how did he have muscles? All he ever did was sit around eating junk food.

Suddenly an idea hit him. An idea that would absolutely HAVE to capture Cas's heart. He's been sitting here for weeks, how did he not think about it until now?! First things first, some things had to go.

Dean grabbed some scissors and started hacking at his leg cast. He already had his arm one off, he had taken it off a few days ago, ignoring Ca's adorable bitching. It took more than an hour, and quite a bit of Gabriel's mock-worry voice teasing him, but he finally got it off. It made it so much easier to limp around to get things.

Now to enact his plan.


	16. Chapter 16

Cas was organizing the things in his little doctor's room. Some child had been accompanying her sick mother several minutes ago and had thought it fun to go through everything she could reach.

He sighed and let his mind wander for a bit. He thought about this past year, and everything he's gone through. He remembered a time where he was perfectly content being alone, working with a smile on his face, taking care of patients; he was making a difference. He supposed he still was, but now he'd made even a bigger difference. He had met a patient. A gorgeous man with beautiful green eyes and ruffled dirty blonde hair. And he knew he was a goner as soon as he had laid eyes on Dean Winchester. He fell in love, and the man loved him back. And it was the best time of his life. He even got a family, in the form of a very tall awkward younger brother and a gruffy father figure with a love for the word 'idjit'.

But then, as always, his real family had come in. And the man that has tortured and beat him his entire life wanted to hurt him again. And he succeeded. Dean walked out that door, leaving Cas with nothing to do but fall apart.

And there had been the dark time, where he had nothing but pain to keep him company. And in that time, love blossomed between his brother and Sam, and he felt so bad that he couldn't feel happiness for them, left in the hole he was in.

And then Dean came back, came back to him. And Cas had flinched from the comforting flame that had once burned him. And it went out. And Cas was certain that this was it for him. Dean wouldn't wake, and there was no point for Cas to be here anymore.

But he did wake up. He was broken, but he could be fixed. And if Cas allowed it, Dean could fix him too.

"I wonder if he is resting as he should be at this moment." Cas muttered to himself, looking down at his finally organized desk.

_*Paging Doctor Novak to the front room*_

Cas sighed again and made his way to the secretary's desk. The waiting room was packed with people, every seat filled with waiting patients and still some were standing. Cas's eyes widened slightly. It was going to be a very long day.

"Um, what is it that you needed Britney?" Cas questioned, looking down at the very pretty secretary. She was smiling brightly for some reason.

"Bing!" She piped up, still grinning.

"Did you just...?" But he couldn't finish his sentence. Suddenly everyone in the waiting room was.. dancing? Yes, they were dancing.

And singing. Oh God they were singing. Cas froze, back pressed against the secretary's desk. He believed they were singing "I Want to Hold Your Hand", one of Cas's favorite Beatles' songs.

He was completely confused. These were.. flashmobs, he believed was the name, but they usually only took place in public areas, such as malls or Times Square, and certainly not in a doctor's office.

Several of them began to flip off chairs, still singing, as others twirled around them and Cas began to chuckle. Whatever the reasoning for this, he had to admit it was really very entertaining.

Then, as the song came near the end, the crowd began to part, slowing their movements and singing softer. Out walked Dean Winchester, smiling sheepishly.

Cas was shocked once more, merely uttering a squeak as Dean walked up to him, singing by himself now as the others stopped, and knelt down. He held Cas's hand with his left while reaching into his pocket to pull out.. a small box?

Cas now knew exactly what was going on, his mind suddenly catching up, and he began to cry. Dean smiled brightly as he flipped open the box, revealing a brilliant white-gold ring with lines of small white diamonds on the bottom and top. In the middle the phrase "My Angel" was carved in slender cursive writing.

"I want to hold your hand." Dean sang softly, offering the ring to Cas.

Cas cried harder, pulling Dean up to draw him into a hug, nodding fervently, unable to speak.

Dean began to cry too as he slid the ring onto Cas's finger before pulling him into a deep kiss, applause erupting around them.

He would let Dean fix him.

-

_Ten Years Later_

"Daddy, hurry up! Unca Sammy's gonna be here soon and I wanna play with Unca Gabey!"

"Mary, if you want to go play with your cousin Jesse then you are going to have to cooperate." Dean chuckled, struggling to get a shirt on the squirming five-year-old. She glared up at him, light blue eyes blazing.

Those eyes were one of the many reasons they adopted her. She stuck her tongue out at him as he finally got her other arm through the Mickey Mouse shirt she had chosen. She grabbed her pink angel wings on the way out, strapping them on her back as she ran around the house.

Cas snatched her up as she ran by him, lifting her in the air as she squealed loudly.

"Look at our beautiful flying angel." Cas smiled, spinning her around, her long curly red hair bouncing around. It was always an adorable mess, no matter how long Cas spent combing it. She giggled and yelped as Cas tickled her, feet kicking into the air.

"Daddy stooop it tickles!" Cas placed the little girl down and she ran off, stopping in front of a very fat, lazy-looking cat.

"Hi Chuck!" she greeted him, petting the old animal gently. Chuck purred.

"Still an evil cat," Dean muttered, making Cas snicker.

The doorbell rang and Mary hopped up and down. "Unca Sammy!" She screamed, running at the door as Dean opened it. She jumped up into Sam's arms, who laughed loudly. He was so tall he had to bend down to get through the door, and was still in his suit, fresh from work.

"Now who could this be? Certainly it's not Mary! She was just a little thing last time I saw her!" Sam was grinning brightly, holding the squirming girl in front of him.

"It's me, Unca Sammy, it's me!" The girl squealed, giving Sam her best puppy-dog face. Sam chuckled before pulling her into a deep hug.

"I suppose I believe you! Nobody can give a hug like this except Mary! Hey, how about we go home, pick up Uncle Gabey and little Jesse, and we go get some ice cream?"

"But Jesse's just a baby, how can he eat ice cream?" Mary asked, her head cocked to one side, genuinely concerned. She looked a lot like Cas when she did this, and it made Dean smile.

"He can have a little bit, it doesn't take teeth to eat ice cream!" Sam smiled warmly as Mary played with his long hair.

"Here's her bag, and we will see you tomorrow for dinner at Bobby's and Crowley's, right?" Cas inquired, handing Sam a pink princess bag. Sam nodded and allowed Mary to give her fathers one last big hug and kiss before departing. Cas closed the door softly behind him before quickly turning to face Dean, a wild look in his eye.

"Mr. Winchester, I do believe we have the night to ourselves."

"Well, Doctor Winchester, I think you're right." Dean grinned, cocking an eyebrow at his husband.

"I have been planning this for a week now, and it is going to be a night to remember," Cas cooed, touching Dean's face lightly with his long fingers, his other hand on the small of Dean's back. Dean growled, he was certain that tonight would _indeed_ be extremely memorable. Every time with Cas was memorable.

Cas dragged him to their bedroom, nudging several toys out of his way with his foot. He closed the door behind them, quickly undressing his lover, nibbling and kissing on his body. Dean panted, fisting his hands into Cas's hair.

Cas pushed Dean, now completely naked, onto the bed. "Stay." He growled, turning away to grab something from the drawer. He pulled out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, grinning playfully. Dean layed there quietly obeying as Cas cuffed his hands above his head to the bed.

"Now you be a good little boy and wait here." Cas demanded, biting Dean's neck hard before getting up.

He disappeared into the bathroom for a while, making Dean fidget in anticipation. When he came back out, Dean's mouth dropped. He had always loved Cas's feminine yet masculine figure, and Cas had taken advantage of this, occasionally wearing lingerie in the bedroom.

He had gotten a new outfit. He leaned against the door-frame, showing off a light pink corset, complete with frill and long matching fishnets with little white bows. His panties were white and frilly, the health symbol on the crotch. He even had a little nurse's hat on. Dean's erection throbbed; Cas looked too damn sexy.

"Now, Mr. Winchester, I understand you're here for a checkup?" He purred, slowly walking towards Dean. Dean nodded fervently, unable to speak. Cas grinned like a cat that had caught a mouse and crawled on top of Dean.

"Well, let me take a look." Cas bent down, kissing Dean deeply, biting at his lip, before kissing down to his member. "Oh yes, you have a rather _big_ problem here, I see." He licked a stripe up Dean's member before sucking on the head, running his tongue up and down the slit. Dean moaned above him, tightening his fists.

"Shut up, I didn't tell you that you could make any sound." Cas growled at him before returning to his partner's dick.

"Y-yes master." Dean choked out, biting his lip. Outside of the bedroom, Dean was dominant, taking care of his loving and kind husband, being the stronger and, if he had to, stern parent. This made times like this even better, being taken control of, completely vulnerable. He rocked his hips forward slightly.

Cas smiled, leaning back and reaching into the drawer for a bottle of lube. He chuckled as he read what type it was. Cherry-flavored. A very embarrassing gift from his older brother.

"Now Mr. Winchester, this may hurt a little bit." Cas smirked, lubing up his fingers. He slid one inside of Dean, fingering him as he sucked and bit on Dean's nipple. Dean bit his lip harder, trying with much difficulty to keep quiet as Cas slipped in another finger, scissoring his lover.

A growl escaped Dean from the back of his throat, making Cas bite him harder. Cas stopped his finger movements, Dean whimpering slightly at the loss. He attempted to move his body, trying to get friction between him and Cas's fingers.

"No no, my pet. You have disobeyed your master. Now behave yourself." Dean stopped his movements, panting slightly. "Good boy."

Cas sat up, lubing his erection. Dean remembered the first time that Cas had fucked him. Dean had been nervous; he had never let another man do it before, but he was extremely glad that he let Cas.

Cas pressed the head against Dean's opening but stopped there, teasing Dean. Dean twitched, frustration building inside of him. "Beg your master." Cas whispered, his voice deep and hoarse with lust, his eyes so dark they were nearly black.

"C-cas.. plea..please master please!" Dean choked out. Cas flashed him a toothy grin, looking remarkably beautiful and animalistic.

Cas lined himself up, then thrust hard into Dean, making him gasp. Cas grinned, kissing Dean passionately as he began to pound into him roughly. He grabbed Dean's hips, angling him to where he was hitting Dean's prostate with each thrust. Dean gave up his attempts to stay quiet, moaning and whimpering Cas's name over and over. Castiel sped up, rubbing Dean's erection, thumbing his slit in the way he knew Dean loved most. Cas kissed Dean hard, teeth clashing slightly. He let out a deep growl from the back of his throat as he thrusted harder and deeper. Dean struggled slightly against his cuffs, moaning into Cas's mouth. The soft fabric of the lingerie rubbed against Dean's stomach and chest and he shuddered as he felt the orgasm building inside him.

"C-Cas I'm about to..." Dean was cut off with a deep kiss as Cas doubled his efforts, pumping his hand faster. Dean let out a deep grunt as he came, muscles tensing and eyes squeezing shut. Hot spurts of Dean's seed landed on his stomach and chest. Cas leaned down and licked some of it off, nibbling on Dean's lower stomach. Cas followed soon after, filling his lover as he yelled out his name.

Cas collapsed onto Dean, barely having the energy to pull out as he cuddled up to his husband.

"I will definitely remember that outfit." Dean huffed out, making Cas giggle. "Y'know, your birthday is coming up." Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Maybe I could wear something for you."

Cas perked up, suddenly very thoughtful. "That would definitely make me feel better about turning thirty-six." He let out a little groan.

"You haven't aged a day since the time a first met you." Dean thought back to that day. He'd broken a rib, and he was pissed off to be at the hospital. Who would have thought that it would change both his and his brother's lives so much? He nuzzled Cas playfully.

"Can you take these handcuffs off now?" The fluffy material was soft against his hands (he liked fluffy stuff), but he wanted to hold Cas close to him.

"Hmm... nah. I like you this way." Cas grinned, snickering at Dean's pouty face.

"I love you every way, Castiel Winchester." Dean whispered into his ear. He was rewarded a crinkly smile.

"I've always loved you, Dean Winchester.

-

The End.


End file.
